His name is Ma Yaohai. He is a slim 53 old man with glasses and lives with his mother in China. Sounds like a dork right? Wrong. Professional bad ass in my opinion. Why you may ask? On Thursday, Ma got sentenced to jail for three and a half years for something most of us could only dream of…. ORGIES!!

That’s Right! This guy…..

IS A LOVE MACHINE!

Doesn’t look like it, but this guy has planned and taken part in 18 orgies and has even created his own internet chat room for swingers. What I really love about Ma, is that during this whole ordeal he constantly told the Chinese government to suck on his love whistle, even blurting out in his own trial, “How can I disturb social order? What happens in my house is a private matter.”

For those of you in the uninformed proletariat, China has for decades tried to manage and control the population. Going so far as to create “moral laws” aimed at preventing the perversion of their citizens. The law the Chinese government is prosecuting Ma under is a leftover law at preventing people from having sex outside of marriage, specifically against “Hooliganism.” Which of course made me giggle, because my mom used to call me a hooligan back in middle school.

Mr. Ma plans on fighting the ruling with as much rigor and fervor as he takes into one of his orgies and I for one am rooting for him. What someone does inside the privacy of their own home is no ones business but there own, even if it is in a two bedroom house with your Alzheimer inflicted mother. (as in the case of Mr. Ma, Weird right?) So in support of Mr. Ma, I’m asking everyone to go out and do something perverted that would piss of the Chinese government. Have an orgy, Watch some porn, Threesome, four-some, dropping goos in public. Hell, I’ll even count just having sex with someone you care about as support for Mr. Ma.

Keep on fighting on Mr. Ma… one orgy at a time.

photo Source: Global Times

Last minute reminder, today is Sudsquatch from 5-8. Carl’s Junior and Monster will be giving out stuff to people with tickets, which are 5 dollars. Proceeds go to the Red Cross and you get to hear music, all the while lounging in the sun. For 5 bucks, why not?

If anything else you get to see my beautiful face…

It looks like the ASUO elections season is starting to heat up, and Cpt. Lesiak hasn’t even made anyone walk the plank yet (his proposed Executive punishment for waste of student dollars). The Students for Responsible Government, a group that has existed for some time, seems rather angry about Tomcat’s article. Here’s what they had to say in an e-mail.

Need something to do while putting off studying for upcoming finals? Well look no further, we have our latest issue online for all of you to read.

Inside:

• Draw-a-Dick winners
• Webstars!
• Bias in the Classroom
• Hate Speech Debate
• Campus Customer Service
• and much more

(We apologize for the delay for the posters. Proper Facebook clearance was needed.)

Download this picture and color in University of Oregon President Richard Lariviere. Submit your colorings/drawings via email to us at ocomment@uoregon.edu or upload it and submit it in the comments section. We have 2 weeks till our next issue comes out, so get in your submissions! First Place will be a Sudsy Tee, and the others will be mystery prizes!

It’s been more than two months since our campus experienced a sudden wave of passion during a Dec. 11 meeting of the Pacifica Forum and actually decided to give it some attention; a stark contrast to last year when this very magazine was covering the Forum and no one cared.

What has ensued is a disaster of epic proportions. It began with protesters meeting and shouting down speaker for their “pro-Nazi” views. The issue then became about safety, with an attack directed toward a student group directly after. Finally, it has evolved into something so hideous, so disgusting it’s almost unbearable to write about. Yes, the Pacifica Forum has become a soap opera.

(more…)

Just added a sweet new button for y’all to buy Sudsy Tees from us if you’re not in the direct vicinity. Due to eBay costs and shipping, the price of the shirt is $16.95 when purchased online, but you can use your credit/debit card or Paypal to buy it!

As always, you are also welcome to send us a check for a mere $15, or come down to the office in person and purchase a shirt less the shipping and eBay tax for just $10.

CLICK HERE TO BUY A SUDSY TEE

The fifth annual zombie walk was held on Valentines Day, described as a general screw you to the cliches of the Hallmark Holiday. Bloody festivities started at Pioneer Cemetery, where the organizer laid down the rules, including “Don’t bite anyone, don’t get in the way of traffic, and don’t overcrowd the bars.”

After waiting roughly an hour for stragglers, the horde began its grisly walk to Taylors and the festivities began. If a venue was at capacity, the almost-undead moved on to the next. Walking dead were seen at Diablo’s, John Henry’s, and the Horse Head in addition to the bars around campus.

“Bar’s love us,” remarked a participant, her mouth caked with fake blood made from starch and food coloring. Indeed, Diablo’s had gone out of its way to accommodate the walking dead with skeleton themed decor and DJ’s that played Thriller.

But all good things must end, and by the time the horde left Diablo’s, it had fractured into smaller cells, which quickly split off to go to their own pubs. See all the gruesome action below.

Those lovable scamps down at our campus newspaper, the Daily Emerald, decided to offer up a little Valentine’s Day gift to students by giving out free personal ads to celebrate the holiday. Wanting to fully take advantage of such an offer, the Oregon Commentator decided to run a personal ad of our own, which ran in today’s edition of the Emerald. The image is above, but the text reads:

Let’s meet for a drink

You: Fair skin, temperament to match. Hair and eyebrows like midnight. Powerful. Me: Golden complexion, rotund, a little white on top. Smoking enthusiast. Let’s stop playing games. Be my Valentine.

Anyone want to take a stab at who “You” and “Me” is?

Guess/comment away.

This flier was put in all the student programs’ mailboxes at the end of last week. Indeed, I’m sure some of you may have seen a girl in a big vagina costume walking around campus (someone saw it and told me they initially thought it was some kind of protest, which seems reasonable). Needless to say, the sight is rather odd. Especially when you consider that, by the looks of the drawing on the flier, the costume may be a tad under-contextualized. Some upturned legs or a tuft of hair at the top may do the trick next time.

The “Vaginagram” is a fundraising effort by the Women’s Center for a retreat they want to do. I’m glad to see programs are doing such fundraising (although I have to ask, what money paid for the suit? Also, where the fuck do you buy a big vagina suit?) but to be honest, I’m not so sure a singing vagina really makes that much sense. Who really connects the dots between a singing vagina and a valentine? Also, does the Men’s Center plan on following suit with a big, breakdancing cock?

These are questions I’d like answered. Preferably in song.

I highly recommend buying one of these for your friends. How often does an opportunity like this arise? It’s a no-brainer.

Our latest efforts have led us to the Love/Sex issue, just in time for Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air and also in the pages of our magazine.

Inside

• Stories of lost virginity and dignity
• Evan P. Thomas speaks to the UO administration about the Pacifica Forum
• Dick Origami (Don’t ask just check it out)
• One hell of a flow chart.

Yesterday our blog received its highest one-day traffic count ever. The site received 1,880 views yesterday, mostly due in part to two  wonderous events that, by themselves, are merely disasters.

Of course, I’m talking about  the neverending debacle that is the Pacifica Forum coupled with Daily Emerald sports writer Jonathan Marx ’s decision to run a story accusing beloved campus figure Jeremiah Masoli of stealing.

So, on behalf of the Oregon Commentator, here is staffer Pete Lesiak to present the “Golden Clusterfuck Award” to Marx and the PF respectively.

You deserve it.

Full Disclosure: Unfortunately the OC had a problem with our printer and our issue won’t be out until tomorrow morning. In the meantime, since Cheba Hut paid for an ad for their event on Saturday, we figured we’d throw them a little plug here on the ol’ blog since we’re not well-acquainted enough with this fancy-pants Internet to figure out how to put it on the sidebar.

Cheba Hut, over on 11th and High, is having a big block party type of affair this Saturday the 30th. They’re going to have a raffle and live music, including local Ninkasi-sponsored act Cambio alongside two other bands. The music starts sometime around mid-day, and there will also be a Ranch Dressing-chugging contest to win $100 and free subs for a year.

Sudsy will be there, that’s for sure.

The AHTF is number one in the hood, G.

My name is… Shake zoola, the megaphone rula

You want to picket? I’ll bring it to ya!

Gridlocked and we on top/Rest assured we’ll call the cops/Black Tea you up next with yo’ knock-knocks

Anti-Hate in your grills, G/Anti-Hate made of sugar, see?

We censor the crowd/We get real loud/Sticks up your ass and lots of shouts from the town

Check, check it/Cause we are the Anti-Hate Team

Make the ASUO say ‘ho!’ and the girlies wanna scream