On Monday, the centerpiece feature in the Ol’ Dirty was about the alleged under staffing of public safety on campus. There are 14 DPS officers and four sworn EPD officers - three officers and one sergeant - that cover the University campus. The feature highlights the administrations goal to create an official police department on campus. The article, of course, uses the Virginia Tech shootings for leverage.

The ODE followed this up with a article about rising bike theft on campus. Good. Great. Grand. Nice “unbiased” news reporting. Today, however, the Ol’ Dirty Editorial Board had this to say:

“The state should recognize the importance of providing adequate police on a campus of 20,000 and give the University the right to have a fully-functioning police department on campus.”

Is it too hard to understand that creating a full-fledged police force will increase violence on campus? A good majority of University students feel safe walking on campus at any time of the day or night as it is. Furthermore, most students don’t like police figures.

But hey, I say bring it on. It’s been a while since we’ve had a good ole fashioned riot. Let’s bring in a couple dozen ego-driven, trigger-happy authority figures who will eventually get on a power trip and mishandle a situation - and you know it will eventually happen - leading to serious abuse to a student or a group of students. Then, the students can retaliate by rioting and smashing the windows of the police cars. Then, the EPD can join the campus police to stop the surge with tear gas and rubber bullets. Then, more students will be outraged and join in the carnage. Then, the National Guard can be called in. By the end of it all, the scoreboard will be: 53 students hospitalized; 2 students dead; 2 officers hospitalized; $375,000 of damage; 2,780 broken or chipped teeth; 1 embarrassed University; and one hell of a bar tab at Rennie’s Landing. Trust me, my Magic 8-ball told me so.

Also, check out the illustration. It depicts the University campus as Gotham City. Ridiculous.

Happy Columbus Day! And to our friends at the Longhouse, Happy Indigenous Solidarity Day! The Ol’ Dirty had an article focusing on today’s event put on by the Native American Student Union and the MCC. For some reason Chuck Hunt is speaking at it.

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In a show of truly great journalistic solidarity, the Ol ‘ Dirty printed the word “fuck” in huge type in their opinion section today. The editorial board made the decision to run the piece to show support for both their brothers and sisters at Colorado State as well as the always handy First Amendment.

The Colorado State editorial board came under fire recently because they wrote “Taser this…FUCK BUSH” in response to the “excessive” force used by officers in restraining a man at a John Kerry event. (more…)

Someone over at the the Ayn Rand Institute must be having fun trolling the the OP/Ed pages of the country’s college papers, and someone at the Emerald must be biting, because today’s paper featured not one but two letters from America’s favorite objectivist think tank. One’s about how it would be immoral not to invade Iran, the other is about stem cell research.

I’m a little surprised that the Ol’ Dirty published both of these. There is a name for the practice of low-rent advocacy organizations sending out mass LTEs to newspapers, but I don’t remember what it is called. Generally, when you see a letter or guest commentary from somewhere far away, and it isn’t in relation to a news story, it is because it was sent out en masse. I fell for this in rather embarrassing style when I was the Opinion Editor. (I received about eight or nine of these things over a period of a week.)

Still, if it weren’t for the tireless objectivist editors of the ODE, and their Randian overlords, we wouldn’t know that: “Retaliating against Iran doesn’t mean embarking on an Iraq-like crusade to bring its people the vote; instead, it means using military force to make the regime non-threatening-for the sake of defending American lives.”

I can’t wait until the next issue of the Emerald, when the Heritage Foundation will run two commentaries, an editorial and this cartoon.

The Ol’ Dirty reported today on the House Bill 2147 that is about to be signed by Gov. Teddy Kulong that will suspend the license for 90 days of anyone who gets an MIP, or they will have the option to go through a bullshit deference program. Now I could care less since it doesn’t affect me directly, but I see this as an attempt to pump more money into the absurd addiction places that are everywhere.

I had to go through 16 weeks at Emergence for a DUI and can tell you that they are a waste of time unless you’re a 45-year-old waste of space with at least 4 drug addictions. Now the state is going to toss in thousands of Oregon youngsters every year into these “recovery” joints so that they can pay for the treatment of Meth heads, crack addicts, smack dealers, beans babies and torpedo tweakers.

Yeah, like nobody here knows that the Insurgent is a waste of money and effort. It’s an enjoyable read though, and Graf makes the case well. If only he had mentioned the nekkid boobies in the latest issue, we could have had O’Reilly back for a rerun. Meanwhile, over in the ODE comment section, Jethro Higgins has discovered that the Insurgent only does this stuff for the attention. Tune in next week, when Higgins realizes he’s been giving them exactly what they want: legitimation of the tactics of crying oppression, and of course, the attention. I swear to god, there must be something hallucinogenic in that grass pollen, because this campus goes insane every spring.

The comment section over at the ODE website have been hosting some discussion on the recent string of commentaries on race relations. Since some people seem afraid to engage in debate here on our site, some of us have been mixing it up over there. Check out the discussions on recent pieces by Diego Hernandez, Ty Schwoeffermann,  and our own Andrea Blaser.

On a related note, I really wish the ODE would stop moderating comments. What are you afraid of? You guys refused to post one of my comments a while back… was it because I linked to this site? Here we are linking to you, now get over yourselves and stop censoring.

Our own Andrea Blaser, managing editor for the OC (not publisher), wrote a beautifully moving and well-substantiated commentary in today’s Ol’ Dirty. I encourage all to read for an honest and courageous point about the current “racism issue.”

Diego Hernandez, who we last saw losing the election for EMU Board Senate Seat 6, wrote a letter to the editor in yesterday’s Ol’ Dirty Emerald in response to Sean Jin’s criticism of Ty Schwoeffermann’s guest commentary from last Friday.

While Jin’s letter was critical of “people of color” who held contemptuous attitudes toward white people, it was written in a rather conciliatory tone:

As one that identifies as a minority, I feel that it is my responsibility to emphasize how important it is to practice what we preach, and that the true solution to racism and ethnic bigotry is to create positive connections amongst different cliques and groups on campus. While I cannot fully understand the hardships and frustrations that many people of color have endeavored through to be where they are now, I have come to the firm conviction that community connection and communication is the ultimate key to equalizing opportunities for people of color.

Now, let’s contrast Jin’s words with those of Hernandez:

Sean Jin said that he had never experienced racism before he came to the University and it was not until people of color started “expressing their hatred and contempt for whites” that he saw ethnic bigotry… To assume that people of color only have hatred toward white people is bigotry. If standing up to racism and if fighting for equality is hatred, then so be it.

All right! Throw an accusation of bigotry at your editorial opponent. Way to come out swinging!

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In today’s Dirty, a Eugene resident named Mark Frisbee helps university/city relations by insulting college students. Now, why would a resident of the community insult college students? Could it be that the resident has problems with the parties that happen? Or the stench of multicultural groups as they whine and cajole about the latest Jesse Jackson stunt they’ve pulled? No, all he is complaining about is the opinion of one man on the plight of food.

The column in question was written by Tyler Graf, who talks about the culture of food and how the “food police” are basically spoiling it for everyone out in the world. Mr. Frisbee responds to Graf, stating “If it were not for you destroying the planet we share and inhumanely and unnecessarily taking the lives of animals simply to satisfy your taste buds, I would leave you to your own slow, artery-clogged death.” So, Frisbee starts off by citing the issue of the environment and connecting it with the direct consumption of meat by humans. Very Carrie Packwood-Freeman-ish, and also so very wrong.

The kicker in this piece, however, is the last sentences of the piece: “Get used to the “Food Police” being in your face. For as long as there are slow learners like yourself running around, there will the members of the “Food Police” there to guide you down the right path.” *gasp* Oh NO! The Food Gestapo is going to come and take me away for eating a steak in front of a vegan. Oh the humanity! Oh the horror!

The issue brings up a pet peeve of mine: other people telling me that I cannot eat what I want to eat because it affects others. Yes, I know that what I eat can affect others, but I do not care. I eat because I can. I eat because I must, in order to survive. I eat meat because I like it. For me, there is nothing like hickory-smoked venison, a side of yukon gold potatoes, some lightly steamed green beans, and a glass of red wine.

It is people like Mark Frisbee on this issue, Tipper Gore on the music industry, and others who are the problems…attempting to restrict people rather than letting them be individuals.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to kill a fish and have some sushi.

Much as I loathe to bring attention to anything Ty Schwoeffermann writes, especially since I regard him as a racist hack*, it is hard to ignore his excruciatingly shrill guest commentary in today’s Ol’ Dirty.

Schwoeffermann starts out in typical style with an opening sentence filled with glaring factual errors and legal inaccuracies:

When the Brown v. Board of Education verdict forced public schools to desegregate on May 17, 1954, the national conscious officially reconciled the half decade of Jim Crow laws.

A “half decade” of Jim Crow laws? If Schwoeffermann is trying to make the point that we need more African-American history classes using himself as an example, well then, I guess he’s doing a bang-up job right off the bat.

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I haven’t been linking to former OC Editor-in-Chief (and current ODE Opinion Editor) Tyler Graf’s columns this year because, well, complimenting the Emerald comes about as easily for me as playing Waltzing Matilda on a clarinet does to a Border Collie. But Graf’s article on St. Patrick’s Day in today’s paper is damn funny and worth reading if you’re anyone but ‘Nick Schultz’ or ‘Evan’, if only for the fact that he managed to slip a potato joke in past the censors.

The Emerald is running an editorial today, calling for Senator Nate Gulley to face “stern censure by an impartial jury of his peers” for obviously violating conflict of interest in a Senate vote. Mentioning the Commentator grievance as “a convincing case that Gulley violated the ASUO Constitution, Robert’s Rules of Order and the Senate Rules,” the editorial concluded that Gulley did not deserve to lose his seat, but that he should face Senate censure.

I agree. We’d all be a lot better off if he weren’t in his seat, but it’s probably not worth the trouble. I just want to see him have to explain himself, and hopefully someone will try to defend him. Bring on the censure, I’ll be there with my popcorn!

While you’re over at the Emerald, check out Jobetta Hedelman’s monster three-part piece on Wednesday’s Senate meltdown. Oh, and DPS can’t account for tens of thousands of dollars too. Crazy shit.

 Emerald Opinion Editor Tyler Graf sat down with ASUO Exec Jared Axelrod, to get his take on the elections thus far, in an “Emerald Exclusive Podcast.” Unfortunately for the drama queens out there, Jared doesn’t give out much in the way of opinions or privileged information, but it does serve as a good primer on ASUO elections. Besides, we guilted Ol Dirty into reviving its podcasts and blog features, so we might as well help promote them.

I feel I’m constitutionally (or is that mission statementally?) required to link to Ed Oser’s article on partying in the Emerald today. There’s no hard reporting or investigatory work here, but there doesn’t need to be. It’s just a mildly entertaining article about competetive drinking. So kudos to Oser for writing it.

What’s funny, however, is that the article is accompanied by two additional pieces, one of which quotes an AA member as saying that competetive drinking is “so, so dangerous” and the other which states that “there’s thousands of times when [partying] hasn’t been fun.” Perhaps the Ol’ Dirty’s editors realized that they would take some flack from neo-prohibitionists for daring to write about people who drank and had a good time without dying in a car wreck or raping someone. The two other pieces seem forced and, worse yet, are boring.

Also, I’m not the Ian mentioned in the story. I don’t do keg stands. At least not while ODE photographers are around.