Did the Washington Post switch stories with the Onion today, or something?

President Bush said yesterday that he gave up golfing in 2003 “in solidarity” with the families of soldiers who were dying in Iraq, concluding that it was “just not worth it anymore” to play the sport in a time of war.

“I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf,” Bush said in a White House interview with the Politico. “I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them.”

Some people give their lives for their country. Some people wave goodbye to their children, who’re deploying overseas, not knowing if they’ll ever see them again. President Bush gave up golf.

America appreciates his sacrifice.

As if the protests about Tibet and other gripes about China weren’t enough, it seems that the Beijing 2008 Olympics have struck again: lumber prices are rising from growing demand for boards for Taekwondo training and insufficient supply. With the looming recession and a housing market already in collapse, this is only adding to the negative forces in the U.S. economy by raising construction costs for homes and furniture. (more…)

You can send Hillary Clinton an e-card wishing her a happy Mother’s Day. But what to say? There’s so many possibilities. I was thinking maybe: “Congratulations on fulfilling one of the seven phenomena of life. Only six more to go to prove you’re not a satan-robot!”

Hat tip to the always classy gals at Wonkette.

In preparation for the ‘08 Olympic Trials, the painfully white City of Eugene is bracing itself for an influx of mysterious, dark-skinned athletes by giving diversity training to volunteers, police and hospitality workers. I don’t know what’s funnier - the actual story or the news anchor’s faux outrage. Maybe it just sounds a lot stranger to people who haven’t been embedded in this bizarre Bermuda Triangle of crazy for the past two or three years. For example, when I watched this I said, “Yeah, that sounds about right for Eugene.” Thanks to Mike G. for the tip.

The Eugene Weekly finally has their new dating and personals site, Wink + Kink, online, providing the Commentator with a new, limitless source of comedy. The only question is how many I SAW YOU’s can you handle?  For example:

Hey, um, I saw you at the VRC in the food court reading manga, “Got Rice?” Tee shirt, glasses, very cute. Saw you later watching “Smart People” alone, thought you had an adorable giggle. Me: kind of loud girl sitting in the row in front of you, red Chuck Taylors, MC Chris shirt and Foster’s sweatshirt, glasses, ponytail. I get a discount on manga at work, interested??

Or, on a slightly more disturbing note:

You activate my motion sensing flood lights practically every night when you walk by. Why don’t you stop and say hi? Is it my big telescope that distracts you?

The site currently has a free promotion going, and being the curious journalist that I am (and single), I have started exploring this strange, new meat market. The “Wink” section of the site is set up more like a conventional dating site, while “Kink” is more, well, kinky. I haven’t delved into the horrors of “Kink” yet, but the public has a right to know, dammit! Expect a full report soon.

You know, if there’s one group in football that doesn’t get as much press as it deserves, it’s the offensive line. Well, the Duck’s offensive line is looking to put a little glamor back in the position. They just put out a calendar full of humorous, surreal beefcake shots of themselves. All the proceeds will go towards the National Childhood Obesity Foundation (natch). If you’re wondering how surreal, well …

I’d make a lot of snarky comments, but Everyday Should Be Saturday is already on top of things. Thanks to OC Alum Ian Spencer for bringing this to our attention.

Read it here.

1. People dressed in garbage.

I saw the garbage monsters walking down 13th today, beatboxing and telling people to recycle.

I was just reading the Emerald’s story about the Oregon Action Team’s victory, and I noticed this interesting little tidbit:

 ”It’s easy to buy an election,” Sen. Nate Gulley, a Rock the Yellow supporter said after hearing the results.

The Commentator wonders if Senator Gulley can provide any evidence whatsoever to back up his statement, or whether he’s just speaking from personal experience.

For his part, Diego Hernandez was quoted as saying that he hadn’t “even processed it yet,” which probably stems from the fact that he’s spent a significant portion of his processing power lately fulminating against white people in the comments section of the Daily Emerald, producing such gleaming pearls as:

Diversity, in the mind of the average white, heteronormative male is obviously or should be non-European…White people suddenly want to be included in the term diversity. This is why Affirmative Action is becoming weaker and scholarships that are meant for people of color are going to white people because diverse means something different.

and leading off with:

Wake is an idiot, he needs to wake up and stop being a racist, uneducated baboso. 

I am guessing your not educated about “race,” especially because Wake’s comment is obviously ignorant and racist, and because you used the term “Hispanic.” I don’t get my definitions from the encyclopedia, especially socially related terms. Race and Racism is so complex that you can major on it and get a Doctorate from the topic. Suddenly, I have to stay silent when I speak about race, because if I talk about it then it might loose it’s meaning.  [emphasis added]

After someone in the comments section (whom Hernandez claimed was “Sean Jin himself or someone associated with him or the neoliberal, neoconservative, ignorant Oregon Commentator” [Gosh, it’s so nice that you’re always thinking of us!!]) pointed out that his sentiments were coming dangerously close to breaching the University’s definition of “discriminatory harassment,” Hernandez suddenly made an about-face, claiming:

But anyway if you read what Wake said, it is obviously not racist, but I thought I should just do it to see what kind of dialogue would come of it. Very interesting stuff…   [emphasis added]

Between churning out such confused vitriol and denouncing Sean Jin’s “hate speech” about the Multicultural Center, it’s no wonder that Mr. Hernandez has been suffering a dearth of CPU power needed for processing the Oregon Action Team’s victory, leaving it to Nate Gulley to instead insinuate election fraud and further drag what remains of the ASUO’s reputation through the mud.

Congrats to the Oregon Action Team for shaking these tossers up a bit.

Here it is ladies and gents, your 2008 ASUO Elections Issue. Inside there is:

- A wonderful editorial with a gentle headline

- ASUO Executive candidate interviews

- ASUO candidate questionnaires, that are a bit scrambled due to the late special elections.

- Recaps of Eugene visits by Obama and Clinton.

- An interview with Rockne Roll, Editor of OSU’s The Liberty and Oregon Legislature candidate

- A few choice words about the new online evaluation system by Matt Walsh.

- And more…

Alright, I know this is redundant since most of the comment threads on this blog veer wildly off topic anyways, but seeing as how it’s spring break and and the staff has scattered to the four winds, here’s your open thread. Go for it.

P.S. And as always, drunken belligerence, vitriol and Big Lebowski references are encouraged.

P.P.S. C’mon, all the cool blogs are doing it.

The Oregon Commentator brings you its eighth issue of the year, The Sports Issue. Inside you will find:

• A somewhat interesting editorial
• “Rifle and Pistol Sports” by Publisher Guy Simmons
• “Sonic Doom” about the sketchy sale of the Seattle Supersonics by Managing Editor Jake Speicher
• The only NCAA bracket in the country with Sudsy on it
• “Rugby: Best Sport Ever” by Associate Editor CJ Ciaramella
• “Ray Schafer: A Model American” by Sarah Cate
• “Budget Golf” by newby Matt Tham
• “Hypocrisy of MCC affiliates disrespectful of campus culture” by Sean Jin
• “How the homeless will save the economy” by Another Perspective columnist Austin Himes
• A stellar representation of the ASUO by Bryanna Torgeson
• And much, much more!

Everyone’s favorite rambling sociology professor, Chuck Hunt, seems to have a little vendetta with the Oregon Commentator. A contact with the OC informed me that during a recent discussion about the new online evaluations, Hunt told his class that, in the past, members of the Oregon Commentator have gone into his class during evaluation day to write negative and accusatory things about the 1960s political activist.

Any of the alumni want to fess up to this?

He followed this comment by telling his class that, other than Iran, the United States is the only country in the world attempting to clamp down on liberal academia.

I got a call today while working in the ASUO from a member of the Barack Obama campaign saying that Obama is planning on coming to Eugene on Friday, and they need to find a 10,000 plus occupant arena. I informed them that there would not be many students on campus at this time, at which point he responded, saying, “Yes, President Frohnmayer just informed me of that.” Of course you talked to the president of our university before little ol’ me. I don’t know if this is all for real. It might have been a hallucination caused by pulling an all-nighter in the library, taking too much aderall and the disillusionment caused by working in the ASUO. Maybe it was a premonition from God that the Messiah is coming. I will keep you posted.

Update: Word is 90% sure that Obama will be at Mac Court at 8:30pm on Friday March 21st! But this isn’t official. I am just trying to share my vision with the world. I hope no one is freaking out about this. 

Update 2: Just found a bit of confirmation for you all that my premonition about this might just in fact be true. KMTR commented on their website regarding the visit saying that is was for sure the he would in Portland on Friday and possibly Eugene.

Update 3: The Register Guard has confirmed that Obama will hold an event Friday at Mac Court. For the record, I scooped them all. It’s just too bad it’s Obama and not my man McCain.

It’s been almost 40 years since Lane County and the Oregon State Highway Division blew up a whale. The story is slowly but surely securing a popular spot in Oregon’s history, not to mention the list of most hilarious uses of public money ever. Here’s the video, in case you haven’t heard of it. 

TheExplodingWhale.com, “the definitive exploding whale website,” chronicles the popularity of the story and collects other evidence that in 1970, Oregon blew up a dead, beached whale carcass with a half ton of dynamite.