The city of Eugene has fined the Horsehead bar $12,960 dollars for a row of arborvitae in the bar’s outdoor smoking area. The city’s smoking ordinance mandates that at least 75 percent of a smoking area be open to outdoor air, and, according to the city planning commission, that row of plants constituted a wall, violating the ordinance.

The owners of the Horsehead are understandably pissed, especially since they already spent $10,000 tearing down the old fence that used to enclose the area in an attempt to conform to the 2005 smoking ordinance. The new row of arborvitae was supposed to allow air to circulate and give patrons privacy from downtown Eugene’s omnipresent street kids and hobos.

Apparently the city of Eugene has a very loose definition of “wall” because the planning commission also deemed the wrought-iron fence around Jameson’s outdoor area violated the code. Patrons are no longer allowed to smoke there, either.

Just another ridiculous moment in the annals of bureaucracy. For all those interested, there will be a smoke-in on Monday, May 12, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the EMU amphitheater to protest all such asinine ordinances and laws targeting smokers. See you there.

P.S. The R-G story I linked to up top has a picture with the offending “wall” in the background. See for yourself. If that’s a wall, then I’m the bastard child of Elvis and Mother Teresa.

P.P.S. Hey everyone, we’re on Fark. So, uh … go us.

Need I say more?

Edit: I was very drunk when I made this post originally. Apparently some peoples’ idea of cleaning out Suite One doesn’t involve boxes, several hand-trucks, and a U-Haul, but merely some Simple Green and a recycling tub. To each his own, I suppose.

If you’re interested in assisting with the Suite One clean-up, considering it is “filthy, filthy”, click the link above, or just join the group and encourage my idea of cleaning-up!

P.S. Drew, are you circumcised I’ll ask this at a more appropriate time.

On Tuesday, April 1 at noon, supporters of the soon-to-be closed Holy Cow Cafe will hold a sit-in and costume contest in the EMU food court to protest the EMU’s decision not to renew the restaurant’s lease.

According to the poster for the event, everyone should participate because “taking political action is fun and rewarding. Don’t knock it ’till you try it. And, lastly, because this is a fight we can win!”

The poster also included a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. about the effectiveness of sit-ins and non-violent protest. However, the reason the sit-ins of the civil rights movement were effective was because a) the protesters weren’t supposed to be sitting there, b) their presence incited violence against them and c) this attracted media attention, gaining sympathy for their cause. None of these qualities will be met at Tuesday’s sit-in. Last time I checked, the food court was made for sitting in, and no one is likely to get violent unless the protesters block access to Panda Express. (Some people feel very strongly about orange chicken).

And a costume contest? Seriously, this is how you plan on sticking it to the man?

Muhammad Yunus’s banking plan is simple enough.

“I just have to look at what the conventional banks are doing and do the opposite.”

Yunus founded Grameen Bank in Bangladesh 31 years ago. He pioneered the idea of microcredit, and he and his bank were awarded a Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 for their efforts. Yunus spoke at the Bagdad Theater in Portland on Sunday, part of a tour for his new book, “Creating a World Without Poverty.” Yunus believes, “because poverty is artificially imposed on society, it can be removed.” (more…)