In case you’re interested, Ben Cannon (D-Portland), the guy who wanted to raise Oregon’s beer tax by ~1600%, has a piece over at Blue Oregon in which he tries to “aw, shucks!” his way out of legislative embarrassment:

There is no training manual for being a legislator. You don’t have a boss, you have 60,000 voters. Heck, you don’t even have an official job description to fall back on.

Like many jobs, this is one you learn by doing.
As my second legislative session draws to a close, I can assure you that I am still learning.

Well, golly. It’s nice to know Ben’s learned something from this massive waste of taxpayer dollars. I guess now that he’s got a little experience under his belt, he realizes what a terrible idea his proposal was, and has abandoned any illusions of trying to resurrect it, right?

Absolutely not… I have tried to apply the above lessons to a new version of the tax.

The first thing on his list of reasons why we need to increase the tax?

Oregon hasn’t raised its beer tax in more than 30 years.

One of the posts in the comments section put it nicely:

I love the rationalization the just because a tax hasn’t been raised in awhile it is your profound duty to see that it be raised.

Indeed.

AK Breniman, OC alumn from way back and author of one of the best pieces of EPD investigative journalism (page 6) I’ve seen, has opened a fine boozing establishment!

The Verdict Bar & Grill is located in the bustling metropolis of Oregon City and just opened recently. I heard a rumor that even the mysterious RR “Pete” Hunt has made an appearance. I’ll be dropping in sometime in July, but show some loyalty and hit the place up if you’re local. Or in Eugene. 100 miles is not too far to drive home, trust me.

Have you seen that student publication around campus that talks about drinking, calls people ol’ polecats and rips on the Daily Emerald? Obviously I’m talking about The Comic Press.

Still smarting from its dodgeball defeat at our hands, the Comic Press has once again thrown down the gauntlet and challenged us to a keg race to be held no later than June 14.  (You might remember when some of the Comic Press staff made an appearance at our last keg race.) An official OC response is forthcoming.

In any case, I won’t be attending. I’ll be in Prague drinking real pilsner and generally enjoying not being anywhere near Eugene. And frankly, a keg race would be a little pedestrian after our recent victory party, where we and our friends killed three kegs, at least eight bottles of various hard alcohol, about ten bottles of champagne and a few banana creme pies. But hey, good luck with that.

Yesterday the Oregon House of Reps narrowly passed HB 3122, also known as the “honest pint” bill, that would give state-issued stickers to bars that serve true 16-oz pints.

Seems like the state legislature could spend their time doing more important things, but at least you’ll know when you’re getting a honest-to-God pint. Of course, this would be moot if bars would just serve pints in mason jars, the way the good lord intended.

Money quote from a state rep:

“It’s a little past 10:30 here, but it’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” said Rep. Jules Bailey, D-Portland, in opening his pitch.

Dumbass comment award:

Now you won’t get ripped off when you drink until you turn gray, ruin your marriage, lose your job, drive drunk etc. I can think of a number of issues that elected officials could spin their wheels on rather than feeding addiction. What’s next, making sure you don’t get shorted buying meth? Now lets hear from all the alcoholics applauding this nonsense.

Clap, clap clap! Thanks to OC alum Ian Spencer for the tip.

Senator Carolyn Tomei has introduced a new bill to the Oregon Senate Tuesday proposing  a law that would make cigarette butt littering illegal. The law is proposing a fine of $90 dollars and possibly 60 days of community service.

Opponents are calling it a waste of time, and I have to agree. Oregon is going through its worst unemployment rating in twenty years and a budget crisis that will lead to state agencies being cut by 20% .  It seems the Oregon government is more into pet projects than helping out our failing economy.

I hope everybody is having a good day.

Just make sure not to shoot your friend in the face, which, of course, is very likely to happen when you’re smoking The Devil’s Harvest!

From a Washington Post opinion piece and probably one of the best articles I’ve read on drug legalization:

Here is a glimpse of what lies ahead if we fail to end our second attempt to control the personal habits of private citizens. Listen to Enrique Gomez Hurtado, a former high court judge from Colombia who still has shrapnel in his leg from a bomb sent to kill him by the infamous drug lord Pablo Escobar.

In 1993, his country was a free-fire zone not unlike Mexico today, and Gomez issued this chilling — and prescient — warning to an international drug policy conference in Baltimore:

“The income of the drug barons is greater than the American defense budget. With this financial power they can suborn the institutions of the state, and if the state resists … they can purchase the firepower to outgun it. We are threatened with a return to the Dark Ages.”

Speaking of Baltimore, here’s David Simon, creator of The Wire, in a recent interview with Bill Moyers:

I would decriminalize drugs in a heartbeat. I would put all the interdiction money, all the incarceration money, all the enforcement money, all of the pretrial, all the prep, all of that cash, I would hurl it, as fast as I could, into drug treatment and job training and jobs programs. I would rather turn these neighborhoods [ghettos] inward with jobs programs. Even if it was the equivalent of the urban CCC, if it was New Deal-type logic, it would be doing less damage than creating a war syndrome, where we’re basically treating our underclass. The drug war’s war on the underclass now. That’s all it is. It has no other meaning.

I tend to disagree with the some of Simon’s argument, which is fairly anti-capitalist (you should watch the whole video), but it just goes to show the breadth of drug legalization support.

Last week the Model United Nations was on campus, and we received this thoughtful note from a young highschooler/diplomat:

On a side note, I’ve always wondered about how countries like Iran or North Korea get represented in the model U.N. I mean, is there a 15 year-old girl sitting there calling for the destruction of Israel?

On a further aside, The Groovy Fascists is a good band name.

I’d heard about this a few days ago and was mightily amused to see that it was front page news at the Emerald, but that legendary booze and rohypnol joint, the Indigo District, is closing its doors as of Saturday night. While young whippersnappers might know the storied establishment chiefly for date rape and gun battles, when the establishment reopens under under its inventive new moniker “The District”, it will basically resemble… well… pretty much what the Indigo District was like when it first opened its doors, serving food and coffee during the day and switching to coke-fueled douchebaggery at night.

No word yet on whether the new ownership intends to install another stagnant, stinking pool of water with a vomit-clogged drain next to the door.

‘Cause why not?

State officials announced today that University of Kansas provost Richard Lariviere will be the next president of the University of Oregon, succeeding Dave Frohnmayer when he steps down this year.

Lariviere was the sole finalist of the UO’s closed search for the next president. Before holding the provost position at KU, he was dean of the College of Liberal Arts at the University of Texas at Austin.

In my limited research into Lariviere, I’ve already discovered a few things: First, Freedom for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) has given both the University of Kansas and the University of Texas at Austin a “red light” rating for censoring student speech. This isn’t so much a direct indictment against Lariviere, but it should raise some concerns. I would certainly hope that these universities’ positions on free speech do not reflect Lariviere’s.

Second, if you were hoping that the new president would make the campus wet again, forget about it. During his time at KU, Lariviere forced the bowling alley in the student union to stop selling beer. From a 2008 interview:

[A]lcohol abuse–binge drinking, irresponsible and dangerous behavior while under the influence–is a huge problem on every college campus. KU is no different. One of the arguments for selling 3.2 beer in the Union was that it might be a venue for showing students how to drink responsibly–limiting sales to individuals to two beers, putting up materials to educate students on the dangers of drinking to excess, etc. In the end the decision was mine, and I didn’t see how the positive message of responsible drinking would be adequately conveyed by our selling beer.

It’s much too early to make any definitive conclusions about him, but I have serious misgivings about a man who doesn’t understand the joy of bowling and drinking.

I will be looking more into Lariviere’s work at KU and UT. Until then, please enjoy the comment thread on this story about Lariviere’s upcoming departure from KU. Oh, and let me be the first to say: The Oregon Commentator looks forward to working with you, Dick.

It’s not often that I write approvingly of anything posted at Blue Oregon, but to give credit where credit is due, this post by Jeff Alworth is right on the money:

The one thing left to conclude is that this is some kind of moral stand against beer, an intentional effort to damage the industry.  Sinners taxed to reduce the sin, not its cost.   I can’t see any other purpose here.  As good liberals, we consider how solutions like taxation will solve certain problems.  This bill has no clear idea what the problem even is, much less what the cause might be.  Worse, the effect would be to crush local business and damage a beloved part of local culture.  I can imagine reasonable ways in which the state assesses the cost of alcohol, determines who’s responsible for reimbursing the state for this cost, and decides what a reasonable tax would be.  House Bill 2461 is none of these things.

The Oregonian has more:

Never before, it seems, has the climate been so ripe to raise taxes on sin. Democrats command supermajorities in both chambers, which means they can increase taxes without Republican votes.

[...]

[Ben Cannon (D-Portland), chief sponsor of the bill] says he’s willing to talk about the size of the tax and how it should be used. And he’s open to discussing whether legislators should risk even more heartache by going after the tax on wine.

The Oregonian notes that Kulongoski is also pimping an idea to bump the cigarette tax to $1.78 per pack. While I’m disappointed that the outrage at Blue Oregon over the proposed beer tax hike doesn’t seem to be extended to the idea levying an even higher sin tax on smokers, it’s nice to see Jeff Alworth piping up in opposition to this absurd new legislation.

For its part, the Oregon Commentator pledges a campaign of terror and mayhem if this law passes.

Well, the Oregon Daily Emerald has thrown down the gauntlet:

If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

Not long after Sam Dotters-Katz’s appointment of Athan Papailiou to the ASUO Senate was rejected, the ASUO president made another controversial Senate appointment: C.J. Ciaramella, editor-in-chief of the Oregon Commentator. Though this appointment was also rejected, this time unanimously, its mere occurrence calls into question the integrity of both related parties.

[...]

We’d like to know how the editor-in-chief of a publication that so concerns itself with ethics and student government, and the relationship (or lack thereof) between the two, can “ethically” apply to work for that very student government and still maintain a commitment to journalistic excellence.

Conflict of interest, anyone?

But the Commentator does not claim to be an objective or unbiased journal, some may argue. It is, after all, a place for commentary, and presents itself as such.

True, but if one gave so much as a cursory glance at an issue of the Commentator or its blog, they will undoubtedly find reporting, discussion and criticism of the ASUO and its actions. The most recent issue’s editorial is a prime example.

[...]

In addition, Ciaramella has attended each of the term’s ASUO Senate meetings as a reporter for the Commentator and has spoken out about senators, the organization and its processes. (The term “stakeholder” comes to mind.)

It hardly needs to be stated that reporting of any kind, no matter how inherently slanted, lacks any sort of credibility when the person in charge of its publication is heavily involved in the events and actions with which it is concerned.

In other words, Ciaramella’s decision to run for ASUO candidacy was disingenuous and unprofessional, and makes claims to journalistic integrity seem like nothing more than mockery.

Additionally, the decision to appoint Ciaramella to the Senate jeopardizes the ASUO Executive’s credibility.

Ciaramella’s application letter was indeed, as Sen. Tyler Scandalios described, flippant, and made clear its author’s lack of seriousness about the responsibilities of the Senate.

Whatever one’s opinions about the seriousness and credibility of the ASUO Senate, the fact is that it deals with students’ money and makes decisions that directly affect students, and, therefore, should not be taken so lightly. For Dotters-Katz to appoint Ciaramella when he was the only applicant to not agree to a job interview, was not recommended by the ASUO hiring committee, and treated the entire process like a joke, is irresponsible and disconcerting.

We would like to applaud the group for rejecting Ciaramella’s appointment. Making student government and its coverage in the media into a circus isn’t funny, even if trained bears are.

And I’d like to applaud the ODE for running this editorial almost a week after the fact. I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to be cowed into shame by the Emerald’s gravitas and finger-wagging, but you know what? Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

The Commentator has been running joke candidates for years. Back in the day, one editor, Tamir Kreigel, was elected to Senate and then resigned by being carried out of the room by clowns. Timothy Dreier ran a retro-McCarthyite campaign for ASUO exec, and two years ago editor Ted Niedermeyer ran on an anti-douchebag platform.

The important thing to remember, though, is we’re not making the student government and its media coverage a circus. It’s already a circus. Everything about it is patently absurd. I mean, we’re talking about a group of college kids managing $11 million in student money. These are people who cry during Senate meetings and spend the rest of the time staring at Facebook.

And yet I’m berated by would-be politicos and would-be journalists for not treating this whole funny farm with absolute seriousness. Say what you will about the Commentator, but at least we recognize that we’re just a bunch of college students.

Of course, I understand that the ODE has to get up on its high horse every now and then and pretend to be Really Serious Journalism. If that’s the way they want to play it, fine (even though the ODE’s ASUO reporter and his editor were in the room yukking it up during my confirmation hearing). But if they thought I was making a mockery of things before, they’re in for a rude surprise. Just you wait.

The handout bailout stimulus package has passed the House 244-188. It will now proceed to the Senate, where the battle will (hopefully) be tougher.

At HuffPo, some bloke is calling everyone who voted against the bill (even after a “face-to-face” with President Obama! For shame.) a traitor who “voted against their country” and accuses them of “ersatz patriotism.”*

On the other side of the spectrum, Jacob Sullum at Reason says:

Even as President Obama promises that the federal government will spend the $1 trillion or so contemplated in the stimulus legislation in a utterly open, totally transparent, and absolutely accountable way, he demands that members of Congress vote for the 647-page monstrosity before they can possibly have time to read and digest it.

Did everyone forget how the USA Patriot Act got rammed through the legislature before anyone had the time to read it. Did everyone forget what a horrible piece of legislation that was?

What could possibly go wrong with $825,000,000,000 of our money on the line? Oh, right. Hope. Change. New dawn, and all that. Let the professionals do their jobs.

* That thumping sound you hear is the progressives’ newfound patriotic chest-beating.

The great political machine chugs on, and I am closer than ever to a seat on the ASUO Senate, closer to striding the corridors of power. Today ASUO Exec Sam Dotters-Katz sent out an email announcing my appointment. As you might remember, I submitted an application earlier for the vacated journalism seat. But alas, the news of my appointment barely had time to dry on the page before the liberal media began their vicious assault on my character. Behold:

I honestly don’t know which side of CJ Ciaramella will be on display during his confirmation hearing. The tone of the letter suggests that it will be the one that led him to request (and recieve) $3 in ASUO money for a live unicorn and a stripper pole during the Commentator’s budget hearing before the PFC, having stumbled smoking a Camel menthol from the direction of Rennie’s Landing moments before. It wouldn’t make him so out of place. Everyone likes a joke, and I know of several current and former Senators who have intimate relationships with fifths of corn whiskey and $2 beers.

However, Ciaramella could also surprise us and draw on the strongly ideological side that led him to speak out at Athan Papailiou’s confiramtion hearing, calling the former Senate President the only obstacle to the “gravy train” chugging along under the aegis of the programs-friendly crowd.

This is nothing but cheap libel! I have not nor will I ever smoke a Camel menthol. I demand a retraction! Is this what passes for journalism? For shame, for shame! Let all the honest, hard-working, small-town Americans see how the latte-sipping, liberal elite look down their noses on us!

P.S. Yes, the Oregon Commentator now has a stripper pole line item on its budget.

P.P.S. Headline reference here.