The city of Eugene has fined the Horsehead bar $12,960 dollars for a row of arborvitae in the bar’s outdoor smoking area. The city’s smoking ordinance mandates that at least 75 percent of a smoking area be open to outdoor air, and, according to the city planning commission, that row of plants constituted a wall, violating the ordinance.

The owners of the Horsehead are understandably pissed, especially since they already spent $10,000 tearing down the old fence that used to enclose the area in an attempt to conform to the 2005 smoking ordinance. The new row of arborvitae was supposed to allow air to circulate and give patrons privacy from downtown Eugene’s omnipresent street kids and hobos.

Apparently the city of Eugene has a very loose definition of “wall” because the planning commission also deemed the wrought-iron fence around Jameson’s outdoor area violated the code. Patrons are no longer allowed to smoke there, either.

Just another ridiculous moment in the annals of bureaucracy. For all those interested, there will be a smoke-in on Monday, May 12, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the EMU amphitheater to protest all such asinine ordinances and laws targeting smokers. See you there.

P.S. The R-G story I linked to up top has a picture with the offending “wall” in the background. See for yourself. If that’s a wall, then I’m the bastard child of Elvis and Mother Teresa.

P.P.S. Hey everyone, we’re on Fark. So, uh … go us.

In preparation for the ‘08 Olympic Trials, the painfully white City of Eugene is bracing itself for an influx of mysterious, dark-skinned athletes by giving diversity training to volunteers, police and hospitality workers. I don’t know what’s funnier - the actual story or the news anchor’s faux outrage. Maybe it just sounds a lot stranger to people who haven’t been embedded in this bizarre Bermuda Triangle of crazy for the past two or three years. For example, when I watched this I said, “Yeah, that sounds about right for Eugene.” Thanks to Mike G. for the tip.

In Sean Jin’s post about Zach Besaraba’s characterization of the furor over Tibet amounting to little more than “propaganda with the aim of maintaining US imperialism (for his part, Besaraba makes an attempt to clarify his position in the comments section), I suggested that the “anti-imperialism” crowd (substitute “anti-war”, if you like) has little time to waste on protesting against “imperialism” on the part of anyone besides the United States and Israel.

Well, I’m glad to say that in a letter to the editor of the Eugene Weekly, Pete Mandrapa has proven me wrong, taking China to task for its “deplorable” “actions” in Tibet. Indeed, “some human rights activists’ calls for the boycott of Beijing Olympics and disruption of the Olympic torch travels across the globe”, he says, are “understandable. Good for Pete Mandrava for joining the ranks of the decent left and unequivocally condeming totalitarian aggression wherever he sees it.

But wait! What’s this?

Not satisfied to merely take a principled stand against Chinese imperialism, Mandrapa cites actual horrors like Abu Ghraib alongside such hoary old chestnuts as the “hundreds of thousands of Iraqis” “slaughtered” by American troops (la resistance presumably murders civilians for a higher cause) and the “physical destruction” of that country to argue that as awful as the annexation and decades-long Chinese occupation of Tibet might be it isn’t nearly as bad as the American invasion of Iraq. Evidently, Mr. Mandrapa doesn’t spend much time reading the news, since the only way his comparison would really hold is if the Tibetian “resistance” was butchering mourners with suicide bombs and the Chinese military was working with the UN to restore habitat for oppressed minority populations as well as repairing decaying infrastructure and opening schools.

But never mind all that. This is the Eugene Weekly we’re talking about, and high rhetoric (not to mention high drama) is de rigueur.

Expect this meme to become increasingly common as the Olympic trials draw ever nearer. When moral equivalence is the name of the game, it’s safer to suggest that perhaps American athletes should be barred from competing than it is to risk your activist cred by looking like you’re siding with the neo-con imperialists. China might be bad, but the U.S. is always worse.

[edit]

A similar dodge, this time from The Guardian.

Big news day for ASUO Exec candidate Drew “Thunderlove” Cattermole. You might have noticed the front page of the ODE today, which has a picture of Thunderlove between the other two slates. Also, check out the ODE interview with him, complete with audio. I’ll throw up his statement in the ASUO Voter’s Guide when I get my hands on a copy.

If anybody wants to meet Thunderlove in person, shake his hand or have him kiss your baby, there will be a candidates fair in the EMU from noon to four p.m. Also, the candidates debate is tonight at 7 p.m. in the Living Learning Center Performance Hall.

UPDATE: Here’s the ASUO Voters Guide, where Thunderlove pledges to “work closely with the health center to get magnum condoms given away with the other free condoms. The well endowed students at UO should no longer be discriminated against.”

The Oklahoma Senate decided yesterday to shelve a bill that would have allowed concealed carry of firearms on college campuses to military veterans and those with firearms training. The bill, introduced by Republican Jason Murphey, faced strong opposition from students, faculty and administration on Oklahoma campuses, who said that it would have decreased safety rather than improved it. From the AP article:

University of Oklahoma President David Boren had argued the bill would hurt recruitment of students and faculty. It also would pose a dilemma for police trying to determine whether a person wielding a weapon was a “deranged gunman or someone who thinks he is doing good vigilante work.

I’m not an expert on police tactics, but why wouldn’t it be the same way that they determine real threats in any other situation? Thousands of law-abiding people carry concealed weapons outside of college campuses, yet the news pages aren’t splashed with stories of police accidentally gunning them down.

But I don’t imagine this would be a problem anyways, since the police habitually show up after campus shootings, just in time to clean up the bodies.

For more on the issue, check out Students for Concealed Carry on Campus. Also related are these stories about a Medford teacher who sued the school district for her right to carry. She lost but has since filed an appeal.

I got a call today while working in the ASUO from a member of the Barack Obama campaign saying that Obama is planning on coming to Eugene on Friday, and they need to find a 10,000 plus occupant arena. I informed them that there would not be many students on campus at this time, at which point he responded, saying, “Yes, President Frohnmayer just informed me of that.” Of course you talked to the president of our university before little ol’ me. I don’t know if this is all for real. It might have been a hallucination caused by pulling an all-nighter in the library, taking too much aderall and the disillusionment caused by working in the ASUO. Maybe it was a premonition from God that the Messiah is coming. I will keep you posted.

Update: Word is 90% sure that Obama will be at Mac Court at 8:30pm on Friday March 21st! But this isn’t official. I am just trying to share my vision with the world. I hope no one is freaking out about this. 

Update 2: Just found a bit of confirmation for you all that my premonition about this might just in fact be true. KMTR commented on their website regarding the visit saying that is was for sure the he would in Portland on Friday and possibly Eugene.

Update 3: The Register Guard has confirmed that Obama will hold an event Friday at Mac Court. For the record, I scooped them all. It’s just too bad it’s Obama and not my man McCain.

I wasn’t planning on covering the Iraq war protest in Eugene yesterday, but I happened to run into it on my way to the office and decided to play “embedded reporter.”

By the time I had arrived at the EMU, there was already a large crowd gathered, hoisting various signs and such. I unfortunately missed Ty Schwoeffermann’s speech and a rap by Ari Lesser, although I imagine both were spectacular. I did, however, make it in time to hear a speech by U of O sociology professor Gregory McLauchlan. The speaker who introduced him noted that McLauchlan “has been a peace and social activist since Berkley.” (And we all know how well that turned out). (more…)

Ah, the Internet - a wonderful creation that allows unsound information to be spread to millions of gullible users. “Zeitgeist: The Movie” is the latest piece of flashy drivel to capture the imaginations of stupid people everywhere. Available to watch for free, the film is making its way across the Internet faster than you can say “nonsense on stilts.” In fact, today is apparently “Zeitgeist Day”; the movie is being screened all around the world, including on campus. Here’s part of the Zeitgeist Day manifesto, as lifted from the website:

The greatest fraud of our time is the social conditioning that leads us as individuals to operate out of our own personal self-interest and nothing more. Material, poverty, war, genocide, manipulation, crime and corruption are the results. The removal of the grand illusion known as “separation” is the true ‘activism,’ as everything else is a mere result of the consequential ‘elitism’ inherent in the need for self-perpetuation. [Blah, blah blah. Corporatism, religion.] The revolution is now.

The film is a hodgepodge of various conspiracy theories divided into three parts - Christianity, 9/11 and the international banking system. These parts that are ostensibly connected in an “everything’s connected” kind of way, but since I couldn’t make heads or tails of the “big message,” I’ll address each part separately. (more…)

Take Back the Campus was what it was. I’m a little embarrassed at my own ignorance of the situation; I thought it would be more of an open forum. Silly me. It was obvious that a lot of work went into this. But just because one works hard doesn’t mean the results will be good. There were numerous petitions made, cameras, Zane Kesey was there, many (so many!) student presenters and the rest of the works. Yet, not much was accomplished with all these resources.

There were about 100 students who attended. I figure at least half were ASUO insiders and about half of the rest left half-way through. Some of the speakers were good, some were not. Depending upon the audience, some ideas were good and some were not. All together the forum informed maybe 25 students about issues that have been in the newspapers for weeks and months.

When it was all said and done, there was one dissenting voice. When the presentations were over and it opened up to “an open forum,” Ryan McCarrel asked to use the podium. In the past few weeks, he has been creating discussion via e-mails with political science students about apathy. He had a prepared statement, which he was not allowed to finish, about the need for change. Now imagine the irony of it all. On the chalk board “MAKE CHANGE” was written huge and “APATHY” with a slash through it was there too. McCarrel spoke about the problem of widespread apathy within the student body, and the desperate need for a change to better the student body as a whole. Sen. Nate Gulley yelled out “bullshit”. Sen. Patrick Boye interrupted to call out the Oregon Commentator (not sure why; we hadn’t said anything). It was obvious that those in charge did not want to have a discussion about change or apathy. They wanted to finish their job and go home.

Here is the speech that McCarrel didn’t get to finish. (more…)

The following is a letter from Belgian pundit Neil Brown, former Senator of the ASUO.

Dear ASUO,

Wow. First, I would like to congratulate Nick on being a what appears to be a beacon of sanity in what appears to be a Senate that has completely gone off the tracks. I really regret that I was unable to serve with Nick. I just wanted to advise everyone to grow up.

The people who gripe the most about viewpoint neutrality are the people who appear to understand it the least. I’m referring to those who think viewpoint neutrality means one should discard every meaningful factor in regards to determining funding and simply focus on what makes us feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. My friends, that is the polar opposite of viewpoint neutrality.

(more…)

It’s been almost 40 years since Lane County and the Oregon State Highway Division blew up a whale. The story is slowly but surely securing a popular spot in Oregon’s history, not to mention the list of most hilarious uses of public money ever. Here’s the video, in case you haven’t heard of it. 

TheExplodingWhale.com, “the definitive exploding whale website,” chronicles the popularity of the story and collects other evidence that in 1970, Oregon blew up a dead, beached whale carcass with a half ton of dynamite.