“What you know about that, Obama?”

It was announced on Friday that Drew Cattermole, editor-in-chief of the Oregon Commentator, was awarded three Nobel prizes for his work in various fields ranging from the sciences to his work in humanitarian efforts.

“I pretty much expected this,” said Cattermole, “I mean, how could I not? Look at me.”

Cattermole’s prizes were delivered early Friday morning to his west university home after which, in true “Thunderlove” form, he promptly lost two of them.

“I’m not sure where the other two went but I think the last one is being used as a coaster by my roommate or something,” he said.

Although Cattermole couldn’t recall which prizes he had won, the Nobel Prize Committee’s website said he had taken home three of the most coveted prizes:

Nobel Prize List 2009-10

Nobel Prize for Geography: Drew Cattermole – “Has hoes in different area codes”

Nobel Prize for Tolerance: Drew Cattermole – “Can ingest three 40’s of PBR in a single hour”

Nobel Prize for Linguistics: Drew Cattermole – “Invented 340 new ways to use the word “chillin”

Cattermole said he planned to celebrate his success by, “Puttin’ it on a chain and flashin’ it all up in D’Andrea’s face.”

Congratulations Drew.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 9th, 2009 at 13:12 by D and is filed under Snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.