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Campus Smoking Ban Set to Go

According to one of our nefarious sources, the Smoke Free Task Force is recommending to the administration that campus become completely smoke-free. Once enacted, the ban would not actually be enforced for a couple of years. (This would be the transitional “culture change”). However, after this there will be $15 fine if one is caught lighting up on campus.

To read the sordid history of the smoking ban, check the archives.

20 Responses to “Campus Smoking Ban Set to Go”

  1. Vincent Says:

    Sounds like another Smoke-in is in order.

  2. Concerned Student Says:

    Somebody call Vice-President Delashaw quick, we need 100 cigars

  3. Timothy Says:

    Here’s what you do - you plant some tobacco plants all over campus, then burn them down. BAM! What’re they going to do then?

  4. Braden Says:

    These sons of bitches are going to make my chillum cleverly disguised as a cigarette completely useless.

  5. Kai Davis Says:

    @Timothy

    Why, they’d have to fine the campus itself! And when it wouldn’t pay, they’d have to ban it from…itself.

    TIme to invent a smoke free tobacco. ‘Honestly officer, I just like the feeling of sucking on a hookah NO TOBACKY IN HERE’

  6. Vincent Says:

    This is why the Weekly Enema is the titan of satire that it is.

  7. Ossie Says:

    Fascists! The whole lot of ‘em!

  8. Johnny Says:

    OC - We are going to need an emergency smoke in this Fall.

    “Tobacco, divine, rare superexcellent tobacco, which goes far beyond all panaceas, potable gold and philosopher’s stones, a sovereign remedy to all diseases.” ~Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy (1821)

  9. Noor Says:

    Let’s smoke to this new smoke ban!

  10. Kai Davis Says:

    @Vincent:

    Titan? That’s high praise. I’d say ‘illegally and immorally occupying the throne of satire.’ But thank you!

    @Johnny:

    I say the OC and the WE join forces for a WEEK long dual smoke fest. Cigars and smoked meats.

  11. Carly Erickson Says:

    I’ll be paying those shitheads in Monopoly money, I refuse to comply!

  12. Timothy Says:

    Kai - did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?

  13. Boobie Says:

    Yeah, freedom and personal choice is all good. But why is it you all get so worked up over something so trivial as smoking? Aren’t there bigger issues of the majority getting down on the individual that need to be confronted?

  14. Timothy Says:

    Well, because some of us actually care about things and have principles. Like that a consenting adult should be able to put whatever he or she wants into his or her body without interference from the state. And, further, that the supposed harms from open-air smoking are so minimal that there’s no reason to presume others are harmed by the action. Lastly, regarding smoking bans in bars/restaurants - such laws curtail the rights of the property owner to make his/her own decision about what is or is not permitted therein. It’s pretty simple if you’re not a mouth-breathing troglodyte.

  15. Vincent Says:

    But why is it you all get so worked up over something so trivial as smoking?

    I thought it was the anti-smoking people who’re getting worked up by smoking. We’re getting worked up by a bunch of control freaks who’re doing everything they can to ban adults on a university campus from using a legal product by engaging in some sort of smug “culture change” and levying a fine on anyone who doesn’t do what they want.

  16. David Says:

    Kai, you always could buy some tobacco-free shisha..
    I know midtown carries Hookah-Hookah Black, but i’m not so sure about Soex brand

  17. Kai Davis Says:

    David,

    I and some friends probably will buy some tobacco free shisha and be sporting a hookah on the lawns come this regulation. I hate the smell of cigarettes and sympathize with the people asking for this regulation, but there already are regulations in place for this. Designated smoking areas and the like.

    “Lastly, regarding smoking bans in bars/restaurants - such laws curtail the rights of the property owner to make his/her own decision about what is or is not permitted therein.”

    McShanes, the last bastion of a smoke friendly bar in Eugene, will be losing that bonus some time next year. Some of my best bar memories involve bringing our hookah into McShanes and enjoying a pint. :(

  18. CJ Ciaramella Says:

    “It’s pretty simple if you’re not a mouth-breathing troglodyte.”

    Are mouth-breathing troglodytes included in the University’s diversity plan? If not, that’s institutional racism. Why isn’t the University doing more to alleviate social injustice against troglodytes?

  19. Vincent Says:

    Well, Nate Gulley was a Senator.

  20. CJ Ciaramella Says:

    Hey, that’s not nice …

    to troglodytes. Racist.