Jerry Falwell pronouced dead
According to Liberty University officials, The Rev. Jerry Falwell, considered one of the founders of the “Moral Majority” died at a local Lynchburg, VA hospital. He apparently was fine at breakfast, but found in his office a few hours later.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:11 am
It was a one-man rapture. He was the only one.
May 15th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Good.
May 15th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I suspect MUUUURRRRDER.
May 15th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
It was a one-man rapture. He was the only one.
In a rapture, aren’t those who died the ones whose spirits are sent to heaven? (ala the “left Behind” series). I prefer to think he was smoten.
How’s that for irony?
May 15th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
The Rapture is when all the true Christians up and leave their bodies just before Armageddon — as in that bumper sticker, “In case of Rapture, this car will become un-manned.” Are you ageddon it? Armageddon it!
May 15th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Man, I gotta start planning my “Pat Robertson is Dead” party. Surely this is a sign of things to come, especially if T is right and someone is going around knocking off evangelical leaders. You’re all invited to the party, of course.
Also, Danimal, a point of clarification: during the rapture, believing Christians will be transported to heaven bodily to heaven, not leave their bodies, so we can be pretty sure that Falwell didn’t get raptured up.
May 15th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Aw really? Okay, armageddon it.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Ok, I admit it, I was an asshole, but now I’m a dead asshole, so up yours. By the way I’m Hitler’s new roomate and he’s already requested to be moved. Whiney little bitch. Heaven sure is not what I expected…Can someone turn down the heat? It’s awfully warm in here…
May 15th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
This is a sad commentary. I’m stunned that anyone could be so bitter about somebody who peacefully tried to better the world, that they’d comment so cruelly on the day of his death. Fuck you, you elitist sheep, your ignorance is far worse than believing that the bible is literal. At least the true believers do what good they can, instead of wallowing in cynicism and inflated sense of self worth. I hope the reverend found the peace he believed in.
May 15th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
“… someone who peacefully tried to better the world,” eh? I guess if you think a better world is one devoid of Teletubbies and Martin Luther King, Jr. and where everyone who is gay has AIDS, where the destruction of gay churches is cause for celebration even unto heaven, then yeah, I suppose he was working toward that.
Also, I feel I should note that I’d've been glad to “comment so cruelly” on any day up until now–why should today been any different? Hell, it’s the first time I’m sure he’ll never see what I had to say.
May 15th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Some choice quotes from the late reverend.
May 15th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
See also his Wikipedia page for a few more, including calling Desmond Tutu a phony black.
May 15th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Oh, by the way, I was a closet queer just like Ted Haggard, that’s why I bashed them so feverishly. And I may not have had a lot of financial peers but I had plenty of other friends up the ass.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Even I have learned to wait until the man is buried before I criticize. Expect my criticism of Falwell in a week.
I wish I could say that about others…
May 16th, 2007 at 3:50 am
Will it be in the form of a fictional story about the battle of some hill, Miles? I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!
P.S. Jerry Falwell is your father.
May 16th, 2007 at 6:55 am
I battled a hill once, had to bring in artillery, it wasn’t a pretty sight, but I prevailed in the end.
May 16th, 2007 at 9:47 am
T: I was thinking of attempting Dr. Seuss this time. “I do not like Jerry Falwell. Therefore am I bound for hell? I do not like him, Tyler Graf. Not in whole or even half…”
May 16th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Thank you, Dustin! You can only find that kind of compassionate insight in God’s Country ™, far from our secular progressive institution of anti-christianity. How is Reno, anyway?
May 16th, 2007 at 10:45 am
“I’m stunned that anyone could be so bitter about somebody who peacefully tried to better the world, that they’d comment so cruelly on the day of his death. Fuck you, you elitist sheep, your ignorance is far worse than believing that the bible is literal.”
Yeah, “peacefully tried to better the world” doesn’t really conjure up an image of Jerry Falwell to me. And what’s “ignorant” about posting lame-ass comments calling Falwell a “closet queer”? You mean “tasteless”, “unfunny”, and “juvenile”.
May 16th, 2007 at 11:10 am
I know, Olly… let’s print some cartoons of Falwell in the next issue. Maybe in a homosexual encounter with Donohue, or maybe on a cross listening to his iPod. That would sure be a biting critique.
May 16th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Please do it, but make it a threesome with Pat Robertson??
Pretty please??
May 16th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Jimmy Swaggart should be beating off to it.
May 16th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Don’t get me wrong I’m no Falwell fan boy. I’m no Christian, and I don’t hate gay people. I am happy that there is a liberty university, the same way I’m glad that there is a UC-Berkley and UO. I just wish that people would have a little more respect for somebody. who besides, occasionally hurting some gay or black person’s feelings(key word here) had a rather remarkable life.
Reno sucks balls. [comment edited for format appropriateness… we’ve been warned to use email before]
May 16th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Ha ha, I still have lots and lots of fools still doing my dirty work. Except they really believe the nonsense and aren’t in it for the profiteering off of ignorance, suffering, and fear creation like I was, go figure. Why do you think Adam and Eve were kicked out of “paradise” when they ate from the tree of KNOWLEDGE? Religion demands ignorance and villifies intelligence and knowledge. Remember you gotta have FAITH. Ha, ha, still laughing at the suckers crooks like me fooled and I’m DEAD! Ahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaa!
May 16th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
My proudest moment.
[Admin Note: Link fixed.]
May 17th, 2007 at 10:16 am
I wonder what would be on Falwell’s iPod…
May 17th, 2007 at 11:02 am
So apparently Fred Phelps (you know, “god hates fags” and all that) is planning to protest Falwell’s funeral. Wow, you know you’re kooky when you claim Jerry Falwell was too soft on Jews and gays.