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The “Food Gestapo” will get you

In today’s Dirty, a Eugene resident named Mark Frisbee helps university/city relations by insulting college students. Now, why would a resident of the community insult college students? Could it be that the resident has problems with the parties that happen? Or the stench of multicultural groups as they whine and cajole about the latest Jesse Jackson stunt they’ve pulled? No, all he is complaining about is the opinion of one man on the plight of food.

The column in question was written by Tyler Graf, who talks about the culture of food and how the “food police” are basically spoiling it for everyone out in the world. Mr. Frisbee responds to Graf, stating “If it were not for you destroying the planet we share and inhumanely and unnecessarily taking the lives of animals simply to satisfy your taste buds, I would leave you to your own slow, artery-clogged death.” So, Frisbee starts off by citing the issue of the environment and connecting it with the direct consumption of meat by humans. Very Carrie Packwood-Freeman-ish, and also so very wrong.

The kicker in this piece, however, is the last sentences of the piece: “Get used to the “Food Police” being in your face. For as long as there are slow learners like yourself running around, there will the members of the “Food Police” there to guide you down the right path.” *gasp* Oh NO! The Food Gestapo is going to come and take me away for eating a steak in front of a vegan. Oh the humanity! Oh the horror!

The issue brings up a pet peeve of mine: other people telling me that I cannot eat what I want to eat because it affects others. Yes, I know that what I eat can affect others, but I do not care. I eat because I can. I eat because I must, in order to survive. I eat meat because I like it. For me, there is nothing like hickory-smoked venison, a side of yukon gold potatoes, some lightly steamed green beans, and a glass of red wine.

It is people like Mark Frisbee on this issue, Tipper Gore on the music industry, and others who are the problems…attempting to restrict people rather than letting them be individuals.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to kill a fish and have some sushi.

25 Responses to “The “Food Gestapo” will get you”

  1. Betz Says:

    When he asserted that you were the kind of person that would refuse to abolish slavery, was that an accusation of racism?

    If so…thats 3 accusations in the past week! I must admit, this “calling someone racist to submit to my demands” thing is so in right now.

  2. ChrisD Says:

    “…and also so very wrong.”

    What do you mean by wrong, Miles? Surely you don’t mean factually wrong, since there is a gargantuan pile of evidence demonstrating that large-scale meat production does have a detrimental impact on the environment (there’s a 400-page report here you can start with).

    If you want to keep doing some you like just because you like it, fine, but don’t then pretend that just because you like it must not have any of the negative impacts people say it does.

  3. Sho Says:

    I must admit, this “calling someone racist to submit to my demands” thing is so in right now.

    Was it ever out?

  4. Timothy Says:

    The answer is obviously vat meat. But the same hippies who are against farming are against that because it’s unnatural or something. Let those asshats live off of organic soy proteins in caves if they want to, I’ll have the veal.

  5. Miles Says:

    ChrisD: Read it again.

  6. Sho Says:

    ChrisD: Read it again.

    Wow Miles, way to skillfully defend your position.

    Tim: You’re so right. Mmm… guilt-free veal.

  7. Timothy Says:

    I dunno, Sho, I doubt veal would be as tasty without knowing a cute, innocent baby cow had to be kept in a box and then mercilessly slaughtered so that I could consume its tender bits.

    That’s what you get, bovines. You may have more stomachs, but I have opposable thumbs!

  8. Sho Says:

    Opposable thumbs to put in eyes!

  9. ChrisD Says:

    Whose got two thumbs stuck in people’s eyes??

    This guy!

    (Oh, man, I blame the beer for that one…)

    Also, Miles: still asinine.

  10. Miles Says:

    Sho: I like people reading things a second time over, just to make sure they didn’t miss anything.

    ChrisD: Here’s a cookie.

  11. Sho Says:

    Sho: I like people reading things a second time over, just to make sure they didn’t miss anything.

    Yes, because that’s a great rhetorical technique. It’s quite an effective way to refute your opponent’s position.

  12. Timothy Says:

    Bring us your wisdom, Miles. Bless us with it. I DEMAND WISDOM-RELATED BLESSINGS!

  13. ChrisD Says:

    I demand another cookie.

  14. Niedermeyer Says:

    There’s a difference between denying the effects of factory farming on the environment, and lauding the shrill, self-reighteous squealing of the “Food Police,” no?

    Maybe we should stick more to the latter side, Miles.

  15. ChrisD Says:

    But I still haven’t gotten my other cookie….!

  16. Miles Says:

    Ted: Go ahead. I’ll write opinion, you all can discuss it. Otherwise, I’ll see you all on Friday.

  17. Timothy Says:

    ChrisD: You want a cookie? I can get you a cookie by 3 o’clock this afternoon. Nail polish and everything.

    Miles: I look forward to “enjoying” your “work” going forward.

  18. ChrisD Says:

    Oh man, was that a hooker reference? I’ll pass, thanks.

  19. Danimal Says:

    An un-gotten Big Lebowski reference? DRINK!

  20. Lolcat Says:

    Chris: I made you a cookie, but I eated it.

  21. ChrisD Says:

    Danimal: Ah, that totally mediocre movie people sometimes quote from. Glad I missed the reference.

    Lolcat: I’z in ur kokies, readin ur fortin’s!

  22. T Says:

    Lebowski? Mediocre? Have you ever been skiing with a stranger in the Alps, Chris?*

    * Props to anyone who understands the reference.**
    ** Do I use these “stars” too much?***
    *** Yes.

  23. Olly Says:

    You’re not an asshole, Chris, you’re just wrong.

    (Isn’t it “fight a stranger in the Alps”, Tyler? Either way, this is still my favorite variant on the line.)

  24. Danimal Says:

    “Ah, that totally mediocre movie people sometimes quote from.”

    Well, that’s just, like, you know, your opinion, man.

  25. T Says:

    Yes! Fight a stranger in the Alps. Fuck. I was going by memory.