McCain to be Brutally Abused, by Himself
Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has officially gone off the deep end. In an attempt to get voters to see him as, oh i don’t even know what, he will re-subject himself to the anguish and abuse that he experienced 40 years ago in a Vietnamese POW Camp. In a blatant political tactic, McCain claims he is trying to get back to his roots and reconnect with the struggles that defined him as a leader. What concerns me more than the cost of this project, $10 million, is that McCain has planned out the whole thing to a T. He is having himself blown out of a plane, captured, and then taken to a rat and bug infested cell. And to think I thought McCain would be the hope of the Republicans. I’ve already decided to vote for Obama but this might even push me to change my party affiliation. Check out the whole story at The Onion.
Note: The poster would like to add that although she believed The Onion to be a true publication at the time of authoring, that belief had changed at the time of posting. The choice to post was made for two reasons. 1) the author feels that this is a fairly humorous fictional story about the senator and 2) she did want to publicly laugh at herself for thinking, even for a moment, that this could in fact be true. She invites you as well to laugh on both accounts. She also apologizes for previous spelling errors.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:03 pm
De Lancie- you have to be kidding me. You know the Onion isn’t real, right? Way to keep busy in the ASUO Office.
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:10 pm
yes…
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
McCain is a jerk that doesn’t know if he’s Republican or Democrat. I think he’s been brain damaged in ‘nam.
My (easy) prediction: He will drop out (loose) any attempt at the presidency.
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:39 pm
[...] McCain to be Brutally Abused, by Himself [...]
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Click on “JustaDog’s” link if you want to find out how a “Criminal Hispanic Destroyed Bridge.” Maybe McCain was brain damaged by a Criminal Hispanic.
Also: Yay, Tancredo ‘08!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:44 am
You know, I think the world would be better if The Onion were real (how did you not know?) and if Victor Charlie had gotten McCain all those years ago.
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 am
Tim: I agree. We wouldn’t have been in this situation in Iraq if President Clinton had dropped da bomb on Baghdad in the first place.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Haha, Nicole doesn’t know the difference between news and satire.
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:30 pm
“In times of crisis such as this, we must stand united, not divided,” Clinton said. “We must join together as one nation under a groove, getting down just for the funk of it.”
Oh my God Sho, you just made my year.
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:38 pm
Meh, he’s pretty nuts anyway.
May 3rd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
chris-
maybe you should write for the blog. at least your story is real
May 4th, 2007 at 6:00 am
I’m not sure if the folks at the Onion would be insulted or complimented that you thought this was real. Two things that might make you feel better:
1) I wouldn’t be overly surprised if McCain were that crazy
2) Although the Onion is fake, the structure of the news writing so closely parodies the actual “inverted pyramid” news style that professors in the J-school have been known to use the stories as an example of that style. So, they read very much like real stories.
May 4th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Ok, hypothetically speaking, say McCain gets the Rep. nomination, and Clinton gets the democratic. We won’t have to choose between the lessor of 2 evils; but rather the smaller of two can’s of crazy.
May 4th, 2007 at 9:43 am
“Ok, hypothetically speaking, say McCain gets the Rep. nomination…”
I still think McCain won’t last long on the campaign trail without losing his temper and saying something catastrophically stupid.
Speaking of which, did anyone else watch the debate last night?
May 4th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Can McCain actually be hurt, the way other candidates can, by saying something catastrophically stupid? That’s just that thing that he does, and the press eats it out of his hand. Ahem: Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran!
I only, like, surwatched the debate by reading live-blogged posts.
May 4th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Lest we all forget this classic McCain quote:
“I hate the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.”
‘Course he was talking about the VC. My dad hated them too and he never had an extended holiday at the Hanoi Hilton.
So, yeah: McCain is pretty much indestructible like the Incredible Hulk. MCAIN SMASH PUNY HARRY REID!