Comments on: Come, Ye Masters of Presidential Security http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/ Free Minds, Free Markets, Free Booze Fri, 21 Nov 2008 23:15:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Melissa http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3874 Melissa Wed, 17 Nov 2004 23:59:11 +0000 http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3874 ooh. Cookies? I want a cookie. ooh. Cookies? I want a cookie.

]]> By: Danimal http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3873 Danimal Wed, 17 Nov 2004 19:09:13 +0000 http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3873 Wow, I can hear crickets on this post. No one wants to point out how hard it is to riot in a stupor? No one wants to question exactly how the No Child Left Behind Act has led to "an increase in militarism at school?" Fine. I'm taking my cookies and going home. Melissa wins! By default! (And for signing it "Boobly yours.") Wow, I can hear crickets on this post. No one wants to point out how hard it is to riot in a stupor? No one wants to question exactly how the No Child Left Behind Act has led to “an increase in militarism at school?” Fine. I’m taking my cookies and going home.

Melissa wins!

By default!

(And for signing it “Boobly yours.”)

]]> By: Melissa http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3872 Melissa Tue, 16 Nov 2004 13:32:16 +0000 http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3872 Dear Jim: We all know you just say these things so your female student population will look up to you, and with heaving nubile A-cup chests, cry "Humbert, Humbert!" as you slay them with your intellect and suave teacherliness. A word of caution: no matter how much you champion their cause, statutory rape is still illegal. Ask Roman Polanski. As a drunken, but not yet rioting college student, and a female one at that, I can assure you that the pre-emptive war and your petty No Child Left Behind Act concerns pale in comparison to my laundry list of survival concerns: how will I pay tuition? If I take out student loans, how will I pay them back? Will my college be blown up by terrorists because of our affiliation with Nike and Fox Sports? Where will my next beer come from? And are my breasts perky enough to make the final cut of "Girls Gone Wild"? These are the true questions your students should worry about. They should be scared. Very scared. The real world is nothing like Boulder. Boobly yours, Drunkette O'Drunkard student, University of Oregon Dear Jim:

We all know you just say these things so your female student population will look up to you, and with heaving nubile A-cup chests, cry “Humbert, Humbert!” as you slay them with your intellect and suave teacherliness. A word of caution: no matter how much you champion their cause, statutory rape is still illegal. Ask Roman Polanski.

As a drunken, but not yet rioting college student, and a female one at that, I can assure you that the pre-emptive war and your petty No Child Left Behind Act concerns pale in comparison to my laundry list of survival concerns: how will I pay tuition? If I take out student loans, how will I pay them back? Will my college be blown up by terrorists because of our affiliation with Nike and Fox Sports? Where will my next beer come from? And are my breasts perky enough to make the final cut of “Girls Gone Wild”?

These are the true questions your students should worry about. They should be scared. Very scared. The real world is nothing like Boulder.

Boobly yours,
Drunkette O’Drunkard
student, University of Oregon

]]> By: Brandon http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3871 Brandon Tue, 16 Nov 2004 02:27:37 +0000 http://www.oregoncommentator.com/2004/11/15/come-ye-masters-of-presidential-security/#comment-3871 He should have stopped at "Patriot Act." He should have stopped at “Patriot Act.”

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