According to the clock on my computer, it’s 3 minutes away from being “not Independence Day,” so I thought I’d take this opportunity to drunkenly mention what a fine country we’re lucky enough to live in, flaws and all.

As the song goes, “America? FUCK YEAH.”

I have been seeing ads for Bacon Salt on the left-hand-side of Facebook periodically for weeks. Generally, Facebook ads seem like obvious scams—featuring secrets on how to lose 20lbs in a week or where to sell broken gold jewelry. Much to my delight, however, the ads for Bacon Salt are no lie; they even have a blog to prove it!

What is Bacon Salt, you ask?

“A zero calorie, vegetarian, kosher certified seasoning salt that makes everything taste like real bacon.”

I ordered the Original and Hickory flavors today in hopes that I can make any fries taste like Rennie’s Cheesy Bacon Fries, and thereby, make my life worth living, again. I also plan on concocting some cocktail recipes that involve Bacon Salt-rimmed glasses.

Stay tuned for my follow-up Bacon Salt consumption post, once my order arrives!

The OLCC is putting the kaibosh on a local vineyard’s attempt to actually do something cool. AgriVino Wine Center recently installed a fancy-pants new tasting room, complete with a self-serve wine tasting machine. From the McMinnville News-Register:

AgriVino offered visitors the opportunity to get a taste of and detailed information about Yamhill Wine Country before they ventured out into it. At the core of the operation was the Enomatic wine dispensing and preservation system.

This Italian-made device, legal for use in California and most other states, consists of individual units or stations holding up to eight wines each. The machines read a prepaid smart card that allows a maximum of 10 one-ounce pours over a two-hour period.

Licensed employees oversee the operation, offering advice, answering questions, disseminating information and controlling issuance of the cards. But customers insert the card and push the button to dispense the selected wine themselves.

Can you see where this is going? Read the rest of this entry »

Since his election, ASUO President Sam Dotter-Katz has hardly been running away from his campaign promises of reform. If anything, one might even wonder where he’s going to find the time to enact the many reforms he has recently committed himself to in a lengthy letter to President Frohnmayer. But Dotter-Katz doesn’t seem to be worried, as his administration is kicking off the usually-sleepy summer term with a reform that didn’t even make his already-epic to-do list: eliminating the OSA Campus Coordinator position. Read the rest of this entry »

It was a big day for Eugene at the Olympic Trials yesterday. In the men’s 800 final, Nick Symmonds of the Oregon Track Club, Andrew Wheating of Oregon and Christian Smith, also of the Oregon Track Club, took first, second and third, respectively. The crowd at Hayward Field went absolutely nuts, even those watching the jumbotron in the Eugene ‘08 festival area.

The race, probably the most memorable of the Trials, has received write-ups in both the Chicago-Tribune and The New York Times. Sports Illustrated columnist Tim Layden profiles Wheating and his meteoric rise, making some not-so-subtle allusions to a certain mustachioed Oregon runner of yore. For the most comprehensive coverage of the race head over to letsrun.com.

Symmonds and Wheating both stayed in the back of the pack until the homestretch, as is their wont, before burning the rest of the field with their trademark kicks. Both were somewhat of underdogs going into the finals, which led to some live-blogging foot-in-mouth over at the Eugene Weekly blog. “It’d be a miracle if both of them go to Beijing,” EW writer Chuck Adams wrote at 8:21 p.m. This was followed at 8:28 by “Holy Fuck. Wheating and Symmonds are going to Beijing.”

Smith’s third-place finish was perhaps the most dramatic. He literally dove face-first over the finish line and into the track, beating Khadevis Robinson by six-hundredths of a second. Robinson filed a protest, claiming Smith had grabbed him as he fell. The protest was denied. For his part, Smith can’t even really remember if he grabbed Robinson or not, which led to a rather odd quote. From letsrun.com:

“We both fell and I was hoping anyone was there, if Jesus would’ve been there I would’ve grabbed him.”

However, the Tribune story has a slightly different quote from Smith:

“I was so lactated I couldn’t see. I was hoping Jesus was out there so I could have grabbed him, too.”

In any case, watch your back, Big J. There’s a lactating Olympic athlete after you.

Do you remember that scene in Jesus Camp where the kids are offering a prayer to a cardboard stand-up of George Bush? (Youtube link here, if you haven’t seen it before.) Well, some Obama supporters have officially creeped me out just as much as that scene in Jesus Camp did by “informally” changing their middle names to “Hussein” to show solidarity with their chosen one candidate:

Emily Nordling has never met a Muslim, at least not to her knowledge. But this spring, Ms. Nordling, a 19-year-old student from Fort Thomas, Ky., gave herself a new middle name on Facebook.com, mimicking her boyfriend and shocking her father.

“Emily Hussein Nordling,” her entry now reads.

With her decision, she joined a growing band of supporters of Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, who are expressing solidarity with him by informally adopting his middle name.

 …

“I am sick of Republicans pronouncing Barack Obama’s name like it was some sort of cuss word,” [Jeff Strabone of Brooklyn] wrote in a manifesto titled “We Are All Hussein” that he posted on his own blog and on dailykos.com.

Mr. Strabone’s “manifesto” can be found here and contains such (creepy) pearls of wisdom as:

• “Like Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Republicans will learn that Obama is a bright, shining piece of rubber, and they are the glue.”
• “If we recall the famous ‘First they came’ speech of Martin Niemöller, we can say that many among us did speak up… What if they came for the Husseins, and everyone was named Hussein?”
• “If we adopted a more flexible approach to our names, we might be more awake to the possibilities of self-reinvention.”
• “The name Hussein comes from the Arabic noun husn, which… translates as ‘beauty, handsomeness, prettiness, loveliness; excellence, superiority, perfection’ and so on. Reader, do you feel beautiful? I surely do, and I invite you to feel the same way.“

Good lord, someone get these people off the streets.

(Via Instapundit)

Via the always entertaining Portland Indymedia comes news of a soon-t0-be pirate utopia raft community out by Ilwaco:

There, [a bunch of crazy-ass hippies] are laying the groundwork for a community on the water, centered around activism, anti capitalism, egalitarianism, hard work, and fun. Lots and lots of fun. As noted above, they are building a pirate raft (perhaps even a whole flotilla, depending on how many people answer their call), and both the raft and the village project will run on the power of kites, wind, sun, sweat, water, and imagination. Seriously, if you’ve been feeling called to a new life lately, maybe it’s the ocean wind that is calling you.

I’m pretty sure it’s another robo-caller, but that’s beside the point. Anyways, just to bring the point home: a bunch of hippies living on improvised rafts trying to float up and down the Columbia. I don’t see what could possibly go wrong in this situation! Even better, according to the article the whole project is being started by a fellow named Tiny Neutrino. Priceless.

These floating gypsies plan to create a whole community on the water. People who are homeless, or people who want a new life, are welcome to come out and help convert “anything that floats” into a home on the water. They will travel up and down the river, stopping to play music, perform, and talk to people about sea lions, LNGs, and the river ecology in little ports and towns along the way. They have plans to convert old, abandoned boats into a flotilla for those who want a place to live independently.

What, no monkey knife fights? Count me out.

According to Ezra Levant, the Canadian Human Rights Commission has opted to drop its case against Mark Steyn and Maclean’s (which I previously wrote about here). The plaintiff’s reaction can be read here. Maclean’s, for its part, seems a bit unimpressed:

Though gratified by the decision, Maclean’s continues to assert that no human rights commission, whether at the federal or provincial level, has the mandate or the expertise to monitor, inquire into, or assess the editorial decisions of the nation’s media. And we continue to have grave concerns about a system of complaint and adjudication that allows a media outlet to be pursued in multiple jurisdictions on the same complaint, brought by the same complainants, subjecting it to costs of hundreds of thousands of dollars, to say nothing of the inconvenience.

The story isn’t over yet, however, as a separate decision in British Columbia is still pending.

The Dirty beat me to a write up of this story, mostly because I drank too much tequila (Tarantula, not Patron, unfortunately) last night, and didn’t check my inbox before bed. Anyway, as obligated by the ASUO Constitution 5.17;

“The President shall establish and publish his or her own criteria for fulfillment of duties within one month of taking office. The President shall also perform all duties as required by this Constitution. Articles of impeachment may be brought against the President by a 3/4 vote of the seated Student Senate. Upon such vote, the Constitution Court shall try the case and reach a decision by majority vote. Articles of impeachment brought before the Constitution Court shall clearly set forth the grounds for removal from office.”

Sam sent this to me (and “Frohnmeyer” apparently):

The following letter contains my goals for the year, beyond fulfilling my constitutionally mandated tasks such as timely appointments and fair and efficient operation of the ASUO.

Dear President Frohnmeyer,

I want to first thank you and Mr. Hubin for making time to meet with my chief of staff Athan, Vice-President Johnny, and myself. Our conversation was very helpful, and hopefully we can maintain a very positive and effective working relationship throughout the year. As I stated in our meeting, I believe that having a friendly line of communication between the ASUO executive and your office will enable my staff and I to work on concrete and feasible goals, while avoiding unnecessary public muckraking. Speaking freely, the “us vs. them” mentality that was presented to Johnny and I from prior executives seems to have been born out of convenient public posturing in which an easily blamable institution (central administration) was used to benefit the ASUO. Yet in reality this unhealthy relationship only served the personalities of a few student politicians in an attempt to play off paranoid fears of the student body, and push blame unto someone else. Since entering this world of student government, I have been dis-heartened by the overwhelming “political” nature of the position I now hold. I want to personally tell you that it is my wish to move as far away from this dis-honest past as possible. Both through my conduct and ASUO reforms, I hope transform the office of Student Body President. That being said, I would like to outline my goals for the year in a more concrete manner then was allowed by our introductory meeting.

Read the rest of this entry »

As you’ve probably read, the Supreme Court decision in DC v. Heller came down today. The response from the right is pretty much what you’d expect (”Yeehaw!” *fires gun into air*). However, Radley Balko said the decision, while a philosophic victory for the Second Amendment, was too weak in practice. From his article:

Scalia’s opinion does interpret the Second Amendment as an individual right, but only for self-protection, and only in the home.  The concept of the Second Amendment as a bulwark against an overly oppressive government seems dead.

Despite being freedom-hating libruls, the response over at Blue Oregon was fairly muted and neutral, except for this exasperating paragraph:

It is the highest-profile case to be decided by the Roberts Court, and suggests that the Court will not blanch at the opportunity to decide in favor of conservative positions in politically-charged cases.

Sorry, but since when has the Constitution been a “conservative position?” For all the whining from the left about the evil, boogieman Roberts Court, most of its decisions have been surprisingly moderate and narrow. They even stuck it to the Bush administration on habeas corpus. Oh those radical right-wing judges and their respect for our founding documents!

P.S. Slightly off-topic, but this Onion video on the Supreme Court is totally wicked awesome.

Via Scotusblog, the US Supreme Court has struck down the D.C. gun ban and also affirmed the right of individual citizens to arm themselves. The decision was 5-4, along exactly the lines you’d expect: Scalia, Roberts, Kennedy, Thomas, Alito in majority.

So, congratulations residents of D.C., may I suggest a side-arm?

Via Reason via Wonkette via the Courier-Journal:

Sonny Landham, who played Billy in Predator, is running for the Kentucky Senate as a Libertarian. In case you haven’t been keeping count, Landham would be the third actor from Predator to hold public office if elected (the first two being Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse “The Body” Ventura).

C’mon , Carl Weathers. You’ve joked about it before, but if Landham wins you’ve got no more excuses!

I was just glancing through this story about opposition to gasoline derived from oilsands, when I noticed that Eugene’s own Kitty Piercy is sponsoring a resolution to forbid municipalities from using oilsands-derived gasoline in city vehicles. Quoth Kitty:

We don’t want to spend taxpayer dollars on fuels that make global warming worse … . Our cities are asking for environmentally sustainable energy and not fuels from dirty sources such as tarsands.

Last I heard, people were asking for cheaper gas…

Anyways, is global warming the only thing we should be concerned about? Weaning America off of oil purchased from despotic regimes in Africa, South America, and the Middle East (and giving some of that money to our friends in Canada) seems like a pretty good short-term goal, especially since no one has really come up with a better solution (and no, plugging your car into the wall outlet that gets its power from a coal-burned power plant doesn’t count as a “better idea”).

One also wonders if Kitty Piercy is aware that the biofuels she so loves to talk about so much are evidently sending 30 million or so people into poverty and driving up the price of food.

Maybe Kitty could spend her time more wisely by trying to find a way to repair Eugene’s decaying roads instead of working on silly non-binding resolutions that amount to little more than political grandstanding.

The Emerald today is carrying a guest commentary by Dr. Jerry Rosiek, who expresses concern over the recent controversies over the University’s affirmative action and diveristy hiring programs. Far from being concerned about whether or not the accusations are true, Dr. Rosiek is instead worried that the lawsuit filed by Joseph Wade might “distract” people from more important things — namely heaping accolades upon the diversity program:

The danger is that the University’s new leaders will be distracted by things like Wade’s suit, and will not appreciate the important work that has recently been done by the OIED under Dr. Martinez’s leadership.

Never you mind the man behind the curtain!

Read the rest of this entry »

George Carlin died.

A video of one of his best bits is below the fold.

Read the rest of this entry »