Former Alaskan Governor and noted G.I.L.F. Sarah Palin

Valor. Greatness. Insight. Intelligence. Integrity. Relevancy.

Today Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska and in her tenure she demonstrated none of those qualities. Yes, as the voice of reason the Commentator lands squarely in the middle of the argument about this woman. Actually I take that back–we probably land outside of these arguments, probably on a couch somewhere smoking weed and watching “Entourage”. Republicans like to argue that this woman is a trailblazer for women’s equality while Democrats like to scoff at whether or not “she can see Russia from her backyard”.

So what’s our opinion about this woman?

Nothing. A big, fat nothing. She’s from a state where bears outnumber humans and quite frankly no one would care about her if she didn’t look like your friend’s hot mom who you just know was totally giving you the eyes. The controversy surrounding Palin is also the only thing propping her up. Therefore people should regard her as what she really is–a nonexistent blip on the radar of American history. (The Civil War, The Declaration of Independance, D-Day, for God’s sake the Teapot Dome Scandal. These are the things to be remembered in American history.)

But what about the fact that she’s a woman, isn’t that something? Actually, no it isn’t. First of all she didn’t do anything for the “first time in American history”.  Last I heard some bald guy was VP. Many “minorities” have been involved in the electoral process before–Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Alan Keyes, Bill Richardson and so on. Just because your invited to the party doesn’t mean you’re going to get let in, and it’s asinine to think that Palin has “made a difference” for women whatsoever in America.

Second, it shouldn’t be a landmark event for a woman to be a VP candidate–it should be a given that women can do and should be appointed to that position. Just because she’s a the first woman doesn’t mean she made a difference–we should all know that women can easily do Presidential and Vice-Presidential jobs just as well as men–Palin’s nomination doesn’t make her fucking Jackie Robinson. Her nomination alone shouldn’t be cause for the celebration of her person–for all we know she was just in the right place at the right time (unlike those wolves she shot from a helicopter). Simply being nominated for something isn’t an accomplishment. Well, you know, unless you’re Heath Ledger and they totally boned you on Best Actor. But I digress.

Last, if you want some truly amazing historical women why don’t you look back at some real Americans? Harriet Beecher Stowe, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman. If you’re looking at Sarah Palin as a historical figure in women’s rights then you seriously don’t know anything about America. Including her name in the same breath as these women does a great disservice to their memory and their actual accomplishments for women.

But I’m really forgetting something, aren’t I? I forgot about the whole “President” thing. If you’re one of the idiot Republican’s backing her 2012 bid or one of the idiot Democrats demonizing it you should seriously give yourself a break. All your efforts, both in glorifying and denouncing Sarah Palin are all for not. Know why?

Because it’s not going to happen.

If you aren’t smart enough to figure out why, then I guess that’s your time and energy to waste isn’t it? But you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

So now she’s out of office. What’s she going to do? Is she going to run in 2012? Is she going to stay at home with her family? Is she going to go on a book signing tour? The answers to all of these questions are for jabbering idiots whose lives revolve around people who don’t matter. Sarah Palin resigning is sort of like one of the Teletubbies being gay; it’s big news for a day but eventually it gets put into perspective and it just becomes another Wednesday.

Sarah Palin will go the way of Sisqo, Lou Bega and Beanie Babies. She will eventually become one of those things you find in your garage only to look back and ask, “Why did I care about these things so much?”

Just wait. You’ll see.

OC Editor-In-Chief Drew Cattermole tries to lure freshmen to the dark side. Note Sudsy all over the ASUO's business, top left.

With IntroDUCKtion in full swing, Drew and I had to think of a way for the Commentator to make a lasting impression on incoming freshmen. What better way to do that than hand out free condoms and The Hate Issue to concerned mothers and brace-faced nubiles? Too lazy to walk around the EMU and take an unmarked table, Drew and I decided that the Commentator was best suited for a place right up front.

So we took the table marked “ASUO”.

We figured it didn’t matter since the ASUO was probably going to be too lazy to show up and no one was there in the first place. Hell, like Drew said yesterday most members of the ASUO are too lazy to even show up for work. We pasted our copy of The Hate Issue right over the ASUO sign and plopped down. I began telling the excited parents of a high school yearbook editor that he should apply for a staff position, and Drew began calling out, “Free Condoms? Oregon Commentator?”

I got several interested parties in our little mag; a few moms and dads actually took our magazine after carefully inspecting the graphic zombie-splattered cover of our latest issue. The my favorite interaction of the day came from a red-headed, retainer-wearing freshman girl.

Girl: Points at the magazine “So what is this?”

OC: “It’s a student-run publication here at the UO. We talk about things like the ASUO, I-FEE, OSPIRG… booze. You know.”

Girl: Points at the condoms “What’s that?”

OC: “That’s for a good time.”

Girl: Grabs one of each “Okay, thanks!”

Eventually some nerds from the ASUO came down and asked us to move. Some blonde potato-on-sticks was a little miffed. Maybe it was because we ran out of condoms. In any case, Drew and I strolled on over to the information table and inquired about a real table of our own.

Unfortunately it became immediately apparent that the Commentator was not welcome at IntroDUCKtion. A woman named JoAnn asked me what publication I was from. When I replied that I was from the Commentator she said, “Oh… actually we’re all filled up.” When I asked her if she meant for today she said, “No, for all of the IntroDUCKtion sessions.” When I inquired about the currently empty tables down by the ticket office she said rather condescendingly, “Give me your e-mail and I’ll see what I can do.” What a bitch.

So there you have it, kids. The Commentator isn’t wanted here at the University of Oregon. I guess our insight on civil rights, wasteful ASUO spending, asinine student senators and terrible newspaper reporting isn’t what the University wants to tout to it’s incoming debt-slaves. It feels distant. It feels exclusionary. It feels like we don’t belong.

It feels just about right.

Today, at 5:17 PM the summer senate held it’s first senate meeting of the summer. The senate was down a member today as Jessica Jones resigned earlier in the morning. Since the meeting was quick (Thank God, and partially Sen. Gower) I will give a quick roundup of the meeting. 

• The biggest decision of the meeting was the funds request for the upcoming USSA conference. The decision ended up passing 3-2 with Sen. Blanchard (spelling?) abstaining. $2,000 will be allocated  from the ASUO executive spending and surplus fee to cover the cost. 
• Sen. Nick Schultz left the meeting before the vote leading to a disscussion if 5 out of 7 makes a quorum, it did and the discussion lasted five minutes. DRINK!
• Some of the senate has been slacking on office hours during the summer, the requirement is 2 hours a week. 
• ASUO wants to create a “brand name” to get people interested in student politics. Free Sudsy Tank to whoever can come up with the best ASUO brand name slogan. 
• Mecha did not show up for their request.

The Statesman Journal has a sloppy french-kiss of a goodbye to Frohnmayer:

Dave Frohnmayer wanted to be Oregon’s governor back in 1990. That didn’t happen.

But he has no regrets, and neither should Oregonians. Frohnmayer has charted the state’s direction through the thousands of lives he has influenced. For the past 15 years he has been president of the University of Oregon.

He leaves that job today, entering a well-deserved retirement, although he still will teach a bit at the UO.

Frohnmayer is the first native Oregonian to serve as president of one of the state’s large research universities.

He is a man of considerable personal grace and courage, someone for whom leadership and public service have been a lifelong calling.

Oh, brother. But wait, it goes on: Read the rest of this entry »

Over the years the Commentator has made no bones about it’s stance on gun ownership as a civil right. We have been especially interested in the ability for citizens with concealed carry licenses to be able to do so on campus (current OUS statutes prohibit the carry of firearms on campus, even with the license). This discussion has heightened in the last few years as one of our own staff members encountered legal troubles regarding the issue.

Now it looks like someone is finally going to do something about it.

It was reported in today’s Emerald that my hometown state representative, Kim Thatcher (R-Keizer, St.Paul, Newberg), headed a group of representatives authoring a letter pushing for the OUS to reform it’s concealed carry statues. I’ll spare you the boring details of the letter, but it basically tells the OUS that they better stop making up laws that violate Oregonian’s civil rights.

As Thatcher points out, “… the state law is very clear; we have several legal opinions saying OUS is out of bounds and should not be infringing on the rights of Oregon citizens… “.

Students should be encouraged by this news, as it may be a step towards reversing the current precedent of the OUS’ administrative omnipresence over tuition-payers. Changing the OUS statute concerning concealed carry on campus will narrow the avenue universities can take to repress the rights of students. What students fail to realize that that you exercise the same rights standing in front of Johnson Hall and yammering about Russell Athletics as you do when you legally carry a firearm on campus. The civil rights of free speech and the right to bear arms are should be absolutely impenetrable by exterior forces; especially forces like the OUS which has no legislative (read: law-making) power.

The controversy regarding concealed carry on campus is then effectively legal in nature. The OUS  has made gun-prohibitive statutes part of it’s code, clearly bypassing laws passed by the Oregon State Legislature. Thatcher and her fellow representatives have called into question the legality of such statutes, warning of possible litigation against the OUS from citizens prosecuted for concealed carry on campus.

“As a result of this delayed action, we understand there may be lawsuits under consideration against the University System. We would hate to see protracted litigation which would come at great expense to taxpayers. Instead we remain optimistic that the OUS will modify its policies to bring them in line with state law and look forward to your plan of action. A response would be appreciated by June 30th”

For students, the significance of the letter is clear: the public university system here in Oregon shouldn’t be forcing you to absolve your civil rights as a condition for matriculation.

I’m glad someone’s figured that out.

From Portland Indymedia:

On Wednesday, June 10, Valdas Anelauskas, a self-described “white separatist” who is involved with Holocaust-denial circles, gave a presentation to a group of sympathizers in Portland, Oregon. The event was sponsored by the Portland 9/11 Truth Alliance, and was initially scheduled to take place at the Laughing Horse Book & Video Collective.

Members of Rose City Antifascists (”Antifa”) —the Portland affiliate of the Anti-Racist Action Network—were among those who contacted Laughing Horse Books about the scheduled event. The Laughing Horse collective canceled the anti-Semitic event within 48 hours of being notified about its true nature. Subsequently the Portland 9/11 Truth Alliance moved Anelauskas’ talk—on the topic of “The Frankfurt School and Cultural Marxism”—to a secondary venue, which was also discovered by Antifa and then persuaded to cancel on the day of the event. Unfortunately, Anelauskas’ talk then went ahead at a third venue, a restaurant obviously booked at the last minute.

Valdas Anelauskas is a “racialist” (read: racist) activist currently based in Eugene, Oregon. This Lithuanian immigrant has assisted the World Anti-Communist League, an organization that supported Latin American death squads and has harbored former Nazi collaborators. Anelauskas is now active in the Pacifica Forum, a Eugene, Oregon organization which hosts Holocaust-denial speakers such as David Irving plus Mark Weber of the Institute for Historical Review. Anelauskas himself claims that the evidence for the Holocaust is “shaky”, that Jewish people are responsible for “Bolshevism”, and that the infamous Protocols of the Elders of Zion are credible.

Apparently Anelauskas is taking his show on the road! Well, if he thinks he’s going to get any traction in Portland, he and his little 9/11 conspiracy friends are in for a rude surprise. Portlanders don’t tolerate any hint of white-power nonsense, and I can guarantee every one of his “speaking engagements” will be disrupted by anti-fascists and/or SHARPs. (The Portland SHARP cleaned out a neo-nazi infestation in the 90’s using, shall we say, aggressive tactics.)

As I promised, here is the comparison between Galen Rupp, the most decorated UO athlete in school history, and Steve Prefontaine. Rupp has accumulated a lot of accolades, but how does it look when you get down to nuts and bolts? (For simplicity’s sake, I’m only comparing their collegiate careers.)

NCAA Titles

Pre: Seven. Three in cross-country, four in the three-mile.

Rupp: Six. One cross-country, three indoor (3k, 5k and DMR) and two outdoor (5k and 10k).

Records

Pre: Eight collegiate records and one American record in the 5k. Two still stand today (3-mile and 6-mile). Also holds record for fastest drunk tricycle bar lap at The Old Pad.

Rupp: Two collegiate records and American indoor record in the 5k.

Mustache?

Pre: Yes

Rupp: No

Read the rest of this entry »

UO track and field phenom Galen Rupp just finished up his collegiate career in a big way, taking first in the 10,00o at the U.S. Track and Field Championships. It’s hard to really get a handle on his mountain of wins, records and assorted achievements, but here’s the highlights:

• 2008 Olympian and fastest non-African in the 10,000
• 2009 U.S. champion in the 10k
• Currently holds the American indoor record in the 5,000 and collegiate records in the outdoor 10k (fastest American-born) and indoor 3k
• Three-time consecutive U.S. national team member
• Only person in NCAA history to win the 3k, 5k and distance medley in a championship. If Rupp had entered the 2008 NCAA Indoor Championships as a one-man team, he would have taken 10th.
• Overall, six NCAA distance titles in the 2008-2009 season - first in cross country; first in the indoor 3k, 5k and DMR; and first in the outdoor 5k and 10k.
• Ran anchor leg on the Ducks’ record-breaking 4xmile relay team.
• You might as well throw in a handful of Pac-10 championships, as well as nine time All-American and NCAA Division I Men’s Track Athlete of the year.

Rupp is the most decorated Duck in school history. Of course, this begs the question: Better than Pre? When I get the time and the gumption, I’ll stack them up against each other.

(The ODE also has a list of Rupp’s stats.)

Michael Jackson has been reported dead today after complications due to a heart attack. The pop icon was best known for his #1 Album Thriller and his world wide success. The sudden death is a shock as Jackson  was scheduled to perform 50 sold out shows in London beginning this July . Jackson survived by his three kids. Prince Michael I, Paris, and Prince Michael II (AKA Blanket).

Enjoy

Comments closed because of moron invasion. -ed.

With the Iranian situation quickly out of hand on all sides I thought that I’d share this video from CNN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEtVRgZ3Szw

[I couldn't get the embed feature to work for some reason. It wouldn't load properly. Click the link instead.]

Note how extremely uncomfortable the interviewer gets when the woman demands that “you people” [Americans] do something about the Iranian government.

Any other revelations you want to take away from it, like her screaming “This is Hitler” or people getting axed at universities. Quite ridiculous.

Well, tonight saw President Obama’s “health care forum”. The ABC network has come under a great deal of criticism for its perceived kowtowing to the Obama Administration and refusing to sell ad time to the dissenting Republicans (can you imagine the outrage had the players instead been Fox News and President Bush, circa 2004?). The Republicans are calling the whole thing an “infomercial“. Media Matters is calling Fox News a bunch of hyporites (I guess whether “turnabout is fair play” or “he who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster” is a more appropriate slogan for the left’s sudden enthusiasm for uncomfortably close ties between the government and the media depends on which side of the aisle one hails from…). Meanwhile, reports indicate that ABC employees donated to the Obama campaign by a factor of roughly 80:1 ($124,421 to Obama, $1,550 to McCain) and Michelle Malkin is howling about “astroturfing“. Other statistics (”damned lies…” and all that…) indicate that 89% of Americans are more or less satisfied with their health care, raising the question of why exactly it’s so urgent to push through health care reform right now — as others have mentioned, maybe fixing Medicare first would provide an encouraging example of Obama’s brilliant ideas on health care — or is Walter Reed a harbinger of state-run health care (actually Walter Reed is state-run health care…)?

But never mind all that. The masthead says “a conservative journal of opinion” and, since we’re not getting any of that sweet, sweet, free stimulus money (and since we find the idea of the government bailing out newspapers utterly repugnant– sorry journalism majors), I thought I’d call attention to Cato’s crucial coverage of what’s poised to be a total health-care debacle — one of positively federal proportions. In any case, you can find an informative live-blogged response to the President’s err…  “highly adversarial” appearance on ABC here.

And in case you don’t give two squirts of piss about the de facto socialization of health care in this country, I invite you to instead discuss this article, which seeks to establish whether or not the “FreeCreditReport.com band” is “legit” or not. But I’ll never respect you again.

Since we are on the eve of the NBA draft, I find tonight of particular interest for those sports fans born here in Oregon.

You see, the only thing we have here in Oregon is the Blazers–there’s no baseball team, the soccer is, well… soccer and the only football played in the state is at the respective universities. But the Blazers are so beloved they have sold out more than 60 consecutive games at the Rose Garden. That’s more than LeBron James has with his Cavaliers. Hell, I’m wearing a Brandon Roy shir-sey right now. That’s why tomorrow’s draft will be such an important day for Trailblazers fans everywhere. 6/24/09 will be recorded in Traiblazer history either as a day of glory or as a day of reckoning.

For those of you who haven’t been following the Blazers the past few years, or even the last decade, let me update you on the happenings. 10 years ago we were on the crest of a championship run, but it became increasingly apparent that Scottie Pippen was a mental midget when faced with Phil Jackson’s taunts. Then we got rid of our good players (or they left) and we hired the Rec team from San Quentin penitentiary. The Jailblazers were a bunch of dog-fighting, weed smoking wife-beaters. Now the Blazer’s front office has gathered a formidable crew of young men with great talent and stellar character. The last few years have been a learning experience, and these players have had the growing pains that go hand-in-hand with players’ formative years in the NBA.

So where does that leave the Blazers for the draft tomorrow?

Although always involved with trade rumors because of their talent-stocked young team, the Blazers have chosen to stand pat the last few years instead of trading for a veteran that could tip them over the edge and towards the Larry O’Brien Trophy. Rumors always start to swirl about a “Superstar” coming to Portland–last year it was Vince Carter. Usually what this means is that for giving away young talent we are offered washed-up players in return (Anyone want to talk about T-Mac this year? You know it’s coming). I can only thank the good Lord that Kevin Pritchard never pulls the trigger. But this always leads Blazer fans to the same argument: One side desiring a “veteran” and a “superstar” to guide Brandon Roy and crew while the other complains about no one ever giving any credit to Steve Blake and the other “veterans” on the team.

So what needs to be done?

Unfortunately for Blazer fans, I just don’t know if this year is going to pan out the way we all want it to. Along with Pritchard’s notorious reputation for stockpiling talent for no apparent reason, we seem to be constantly involved in talks that bring people past their prime to Portland instead of at their peak. This is undoubtedly always going to be a short-term solution, and shouldn’t be seen as the saving grace of the franchise. People are always suggesting getting rid of Steve Blake or Travis Outlaw for someone like Steve Nash or, God forbid, Hedo Turkoglu. No one ever seems to want to bring in someone like Danny Granger or Jose Calderon. Why not supplement your roster with more young players who are in the same position as Roy and Aldridge? The Blazers need more players poised for a national breakthrough, not old creaky ones or players that will never pan out.

Additionally, the Blazers need to build a franchise that isn’t about your Chewbaccas and Captain Rikers. It needs to be about the Han Solos and Captain Picards. More importanly, it needs to be about building a franchise that will stay together for the entire run, not one where major players phase in and out. Signing up some dusty veteran with back problems or a bum knee who won’t even be around in 2 years isn’t a way to start off a decade of dominance–it’s the way to make sure it never happens.

I’m really hoping the Blazers pull off something huge this draft–they’ve got enough picks and enough players they don’t need to be able to trade for someone really great for their roster. Yet as a lifelong Blazer fan, I’m used to watching my team get their asses absolutely handed to them whenever they’re about to do something great. Like all Oregonians, I know that if I don’t like the weather here I can just wait five minutes; it’ll change. Similarly, I know that a lot of Oregonians are in the same boat as me when it comes to the Blazers.

But in both cases, I try not to get my hopes up.

We don’t talk a lot about sports on the Commentator blog or in the magazine. This isn’t a problem, maybe in the print version but that’s a debate for another day. Occasionally we showcase the stupidity of University of Oregon athletes, like the three basketball players who shot ducks with pellet guns at Alton Baker park.

Considering my strange love for American football, and my current internship at a sports journalism site, I thought I would share a few thoughts about the NCAA that have become increasingly apparent to me. You may have come to this conclusion long ago yourself but I didn’t start following collegiate sports and its myriad of issues until I became a freshmen. Even then it took a few months.

My conclusion: The NCAA is the United Nations of the collegiate sports world.

I don’t mean this in a good way. I’m talking about the U.N. that has no power (which it doesn’t) and mostly allows for easier (or if you care to argue the other way) diplomatic ties for various countries. The power that the media, fans, and schools ascribe to the NCAA is on the whole ridiculous.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve been getting pretty deep on here in the last few posts. I missed some of the more ridiculous things that happen in the world that we usually post about. Admittedly there have been some hilariously insane commentators in the posts but it’s nothing like, oh, I don’t know:

PETA getting mad at Obama for swatting a fly.

If you ever start thinking that maybe the world is boiling down to just politics and that we’re splitting down party lines everywhere never forget PETA, they’re always around to make sure that you remember terrible PR campaigns and general craziness.

Like this commercial that was, for obvious reasons, banned:

watch?v=SR021-qyLJ8

Just sayin’.